Confession: I am not over pumpkin spice. I know, it’s February. I should be expounding upon the next flavor of the month, like whatever post-prandial sugary delight we’re supposed to foist upon President’s Day. Hamilton Herbs de Provence? The abhorrent mint-infused flash in the pan come St. Paddy’s Day? Fuck no, give me red velvet and give me pumpkin spice or give me death. That’s all I want. Winter is a dearth of seasonal flavors; starting with peppermint and rum raisin and ending with the lukewarm return to all things watermelon at the start of April.
Continue reading “Lenny & Larry’s Pumpkin Spice Protein Cookie”
Tag: dessert
Top Five Food Destinations around Miami, FL (and some of the Keys, too)
Jonas? We don’t need no stinkin’ Jonas. Or for that matter, snow. When J and I are hellbent on going on a trip, we go. We had planned a weekend in Miami for five months. In between that fateful plan and our return, I had surgery, school started, job schedules changed, homework happened, and United cancelled our flight three times in anticipation of the blizzard of the century.
I know you know these palm trees don’t lie, baby. Continue reading “Top Five Food Destinations around Miami, FL (and some of the Keys, too)”
CTD Sports Isolicious: Fruity Cereal Crunch and Cinnamon Cereal Crunch
This review is generously brought to you by general anesthetic: making drinks pinker since this morning, after I had surgery, and rendering my words a little dumber each time. Foodette Reviews is filmed before a live studio audience, in bed.
Good news, it turns out they have WordPress in hell. Or do they? Not wishing to make you suffer through a multi-part, existential series in which you question my reality, mortality, and the overall being of man, I’ll let you in on a secret. My surgery was successful, I will live to lift another day. When that day will come is TBD, and until then, I’m living on my mattress, drinking cold-pressed juice and bespoke protein shakes like a motherfucker. True Life: I am very much an adult now. Cereal milk protein is my white whale, because on principle, I just don’t eat a lot of cereal any more. I take too much protein to chow down on cereal but it’s absolutely delicious and I could mainline it straight into my face.
Continue reading “CTD Sports Isolicious: Fruity Cereal Crunch and Cinnamon Cereal Crunch”
Tea-Rrific! Limited Batch Ice Cream Brown Butter Sticky Toffee
The first review of the new year isn’t always promising. And yes, it starts with a cheat. I’ve had a bag of kale chips, coconut chips, and three different flavors of whey sitting on my counter for a week now but decided to go for the kill and suffered greatly for it.
Mediocrity comes at a cost. Roughly $12, to be precise. Continue reading “Tea-Rrific! Limited Batch Ice Cream Brown Butter Sticky Toffee”
Lapsang Souchong Poached Apple Tart
I participated in an Ambassador Program on behalf of Influence Central for Hood Cream. I received product samples as well as a promotional item to thank me for my participation.
I guess I never spoke about the holidays, but sandwiched between the stress of the season and the trials and tribulations of finals, which make The Paper Chase look like Paper Moon, it slipped my consciousness as quickly as the turkey caused me to.
Continue reading “Lapsang Souchong Poached Apple Tart”
Walking Dessert Tacos with Nabisco, Snack Pack, and Reddi Wip #ad
This shop has been compensated by Collective Bias, Inc. and its advertiser. All opinions are mine alone. #SnackAndGo #CollectiveBias
The Bedfellow does not appreciate my affinity for protein snacks. More importantly, she does not deem ‘paste’ one of the five food groups. Weird, right? In order to maintain harmony in the relationship, I like to go outside of the box and create snacks for her that satisfy her sweet tooth and my compulsive need to combine various flavors of cake. One of these is genius- no, seriously. Continue reading “Walking Dessert Tacos with Nabisco, Snack Pack, and Reddi Wip #ad”
#ad Red Velvet + Ginger Root Beer Can Cakes
This shop has been compensated by Collective Bias, Inc. and its advertiser. All opinions are mine alone. #BOOItForward #CollectiveBias
Halloween is approaching. This means a few key things: your FaceBOOk is going to be bombarded with cutesy memes about the “first day of Halloween”. Stop that. It’s October, and you’re pushing it. This also means candy, parties, and a shockingly stark expose on the most popular costumes of the year, considering that they’re worn for about four hours before being discarded and repurposed as a t-shirt when you haven’t done your laundry. But we all know what the best part of Halloween is- the tricks, natch. I’ve partnered with MARS and Social Fabric to bring you a spooky-sweet can cake that will help you ‘BOO’ your friends this Halloween. Continue reading “#ad Red Velvet + Ginger Root Beer Can Cakes”
Prantl’s Burnt Almond Torte, Proteined Up
Pittsburgh, you have so much good, weird food. Burgers? Check. Pizza? Hell yes. Dessert? For the love of god, are you Alanis Morrisette? Because I am aware of the irony of going on a 3mi hike through town and then sniffing around Prantl’s. Not okay, Steel City, not okay. In any case, snarfing a single-sized burnt almond torte, arguably the specialty of Pittsburgh, in four sittings gave me an interesting idea when a package from Quest arrived late last week. The cake on the package of the vanilla almond crunch bar looked strikingly similar to my favorite, albeit nutritionally devoid cake. Could I make it and add an assload of protein? I absolutely could.
Continue reading “Prantl’s Burnt Almond Torte, Proteined Up”
15 in 30: Top Eats in Pittsburgh, Month 1
It’s been a fast month here in the Steel City- too fast! I’ve been acclimating to work, commuting like I casually memorized the bus schedule, and have been writing bench briefs like it ain’t no thang. It is a thang! And it’s hard! I’ve also been casually eating my way through the city, enjoying the most of each neighborhood. 
I’ve spent the most time in Lawrenceville in the last two weeks, overshadowed only by Squirrel Hill, my own neighborhood, and Shadyside. In that time, I’ve had amazing treats, from homemade pierogies to beautiful burgers to macarons that taste like they’re straight out of Paris. Continuing my on-the-road tradition from last year, albeit souped up (disclaimer: this article contains no soup), here’s my Top 15 in 30. Continue reading “15 in 30: Top Eats in Pittsburgh, Month 1”
Road Trip: Hartford to Pittsburgh
I am settled in Pittsburgh after a weekend of driving, eating, and blasting Queen along the highway. This wasn’t as involved of a drive as last year’s, but it was still plenty of fun, with many neat stops along the way. I spent the night in Williamsport, PA, about halfway between Hartford and Pittsburgh, and stopped in Milford and State College for a rest each day on the hunt for breweries, coffee, and dive bars.
Continue reading “Road Trip: Hartford to Pittsburgh”