Welch’s 100% Grape Juice

My mother buys lite juices, so I was not prepared for the flavor and taste of this. I’ve been drinking a lot of powdered “single” drink mixes, like Crystal Light and such.

The drink is a dark, deep purple. It’s a really syrupy texture, which I didn’t like. It was sent to me as part of a wonderful little promotional package of Welch’s Juice, along with a tote bag, a pen, a magnet, and three other bottles of juice, with a selection of white and red grape. Very generous!

The flavor was unmistakably 100% grape, and it was a very good grapey taste. Heavy grape aroma, too. I don’t know. The juice was good, much better cold than warm, but it just tasted a lot like Dimetapp cough medicine, with that syrupy texture. In the future, if I have this again, I’ll either buy the “lite” version or dilute this a little. I was just turned off by the texture.

3/10- ICKY

Skinny Cow Ice Cream Bonanza

It’s almost time for some hot-weather treats, and this week, the thermostat got up to 77, so my mom broke down and bought that fabled of summer treats, ice cream.

She’s not the kind to get Ben and Jerry’s or, you know, the good stuff, as we grumble, but to her credit, she does bring back new things.

So last week, she sniffed out two new treats at the grocery store, from the Skinny Cow brand.

The Skinny Cow brand boasts one of the creepiest mascots I’ve ever seen, one that looks straight out of a Furry culture wet dream, a slender, dare I say, sexy bovine with a seductively wrapped in a dress measuring ruler to show you all how skinny she is, GASP JUST BY EATING ICE CREAM.

So I was intrigued and decided to try these out for myself.

Skinny Cow Chocolate Peanut Butter Ice Cream Sandwiches. All right, let’s get one thing clear. These do not look like the lovely stock photo. No ice cream you will see, especially a mass-produced one, will look like the photo, with over half the damned thing being peanut butter. Not if it’s low fat.

However, for the customer to accurately judge whether or not they do want to purchase these, they’re in a lovely see-through container. No surprises here, folks.

The ice cream is rich, a little watery at times, but consistent, and I could taste the peanut butter and the chocolate blending very well together. The sandwich is like all ice cream sandwiches- it sticks to your fingers like envelope glue and forces you to develop a layer of chocolate skin by the end of the sandwich.

Not a bad treat, folks. Six to a pack, they go very fast.

7/10- NOT BAD

The next treat I tried by Skinny Cow was their Skinny Dippers, in French Vanilla and Caramel flavors. Sub-par at best, with the mockolate coating chipping off and melting on my keyboard…is it the PPC or the bad chocolate?

The caramel wasn’t a great flavor, just the tiniest hint of a buttery taste, and the vanilla was watery and had the consistency of a popsicle, that’s how much water was in it.

Yucky.

3/10- GROSS

Monster Energy Drink

Monster energy drink, my friend always said, tastes like robot piss.

Okay, so she wasn’t too far off the mark, but I’d never tried a Monster. First sip, it’s lightly carbonated, with big bubbles, and it has that lovely, fruity, chemical taste to it. I’m being sarcastic, of course, but it gets better.

The color is different than what I expected. It’s not bright green, but a light pinkish color, which is nice, and the taste gets a little better as you sip. It’s a fruity flavor, pretty fake, but it kept me awake.

I wish it was a different flavor, because that Windex-y taste seems to be the quintessential taste of energy drinks, and I feel like I’m gulping down medicine rather than a beverage.

3/10- LAME

Burger King Tendercrisp Sandwich and Fries

My mom treated me to BK a few days back, and who am I to pass up a free meal?

I opened up the sandwich, and it was hefty, but no- that was just the vegetables. I don’t like them. To their credit, I had two large slices of tomato and a good piece of lettuce. It helps to order without mayonnaise, because then there’s no “sog” factor.

The piece of chicken was no reconstituted meat for sure. It was tasty, flavorful even on its own, and the bun was good. A nice corn-dusted bun. But it just wasn’t anything special, nothing for me to rave about to my friends. Honestly, I’d be better off getting the McDonald’s Southern Chicken Sandwich for $2.89 or the cheaper McChicken compared to this five-buck price. It’s cheaper, more flavorful, and more filling.

My advice? Go to BK for dessert and the Enormous Omelette Sandwich.
5/10- LAME

Moving onto the fries. No matter how many times I go to Burker King, the fries are always lukewarm at best. They’ve always had this strange taste with their batter, like the taste of panko without the texture. They’re “eh” at best. If anything, their cheesy tots are better.

3/10- GROSS

Nik Naks Nice ‘n’ Spicy

I was disappointed with these.

I expected them to be like Cheetos- they were shaped like them, so I figured they’d be cheesy and very hot, like a higher-end, gourmet version of Hot Cheetos.

Instead, these tasted strongly of two things- vinegar and ginger. It wasn’t necessarily a bad taste, just not what I expected, and not spicy, as advertised. Strong, yes. Tangy, yes. But spicy just didn’t cut the bill for this.

The texture was phenomenal- like refined Cheetos, with none of those icky little corn bits that break your teeth. These were smooth and crispy, and though they were way past the sell date, very crisp.

3/10- EH.

Taco Bell Nachos

Image Copyright Taco Bell

Today I had three bucks on me, so I decided to go and get nachos from Taco Bell. They have three varieties on their value menu, for 79, 89, and 99 cents.

The 79 cent nachos, affectionately known as the triple layer nachos, were covered in a mix of refried beans, cheese, and red sauce. Not sure if I’d count “red sauce” as a layer, but whatever. These are good, and only good if made fresh out of the oven. I’ve had these before, and they were delicious. The chips all had ample amounts of topping scooped on, and there was extra leftover to be eaten with a fork. But these nachos were gross. They’d obviously been sitting out for a while, because the cheese had a skin over it and the chips that were covered with topping had reached the consistency of warm noodles. It reached the point where I wasn’t able to pick them up anymore because they were completely limp and falling apart.

3/10- ICKY

The 89 cent nachos were the beefy five layer nachos, and they were quite good. These were freshly made. Either they have a separate distribution for these or they just ran out of triple layer nachos to plop beef on, but the chips were as they always are- translucent with grease and deliciously salty, and covered in the same toppings as the triple layer nachos with the addition of seasoned beef and shredded cheese.

I like the way my local Taco Bell makes these, because the beef is so deliciously tender. It’s not chunky or gloppy beef. It’s just the right amount of moisture and makes the meal delicious, like eating the perfect, tiny taco.
8/10- DELICIOUS

The 99 cent nachos were the same as the others- standard cheese, sauce, and bean base, but no shredded beef and tomatoes, guacamole, and sour cream. Think of a seven layer dip. That’s what this is. Unfortunately, my toppings seemed to be squirted out by a mechanical squirter in perfect dollops, because there was a section for each topping, instead of being evenly distributed across the chips. There was a lot of topping. I almost wish the veggie and seven-layer stuff had been under a layer of chips with the gooey part on top, as the rest didn’t seem to hold up well.

5/10- AVERAGE

All in all, these were some okay nachos. Could I make better? Yes. For less than a buck? No. That’s why we eat them. They’re cheap and filling and sometimes taste good. The Chihuahua liked them. Why not me?

Foodette