Deep River Snacks Sweet Maui Onion Kettle Cooked Potato Chips

Mmmmm…the first thing you notice when you open these chips is the flavoring. It’s a lovely, powdery crust of onion, almost like grilled onions on the barbecue or buttermilk onion rings.

It’s a thick, rich onion taste, and the underlying potato chip is flavorful, all crunch and potato. The powder takes the chips and keeps them from being really oily. If you like strong flavors, this is for you. The onion flavor stays in the back of your throat, quickly mingling with the potatoey taste.

These are a local brand of chips, and boy, are they good. They’re a little pricey, and not many chips fill the bag, but they’re excellent with a sandwich. The chips are actually made with real onions, not just powder, and are definitely worth their price.

8/10- DELICIOUS

Rudoloh’s OnYums Hot Flavored Rings


Image Copyright Rudolph Foods

Here’s another dollar store bonanza. If we keep getting gems like these, we’ll have to create a series: “Living and Dying on a Buck: Dollar Store Snacks”

There were a few flavors of these, but we were intrigued by hot sauce and kept saying the name “Onnnyoooohms” over and over in the car.

These were fucking gross. Upon opening the bag, we smelled lots of vinegar, like, a bottle’s worth of douche. Groooossss.

The Ooooonnnyoooohms- ‘scuse me, Onyums, were bright, bright red, like they were dipped in nuclear waste. They looked like they had a legitimately good Funyun style texture, but that was quickly unnoticeable when you ate them, because you were pummeled with the hottest, burning sensation. It was like eating pepper spray.

I might go back and try their other flavors, because they seemed like there was a good base to them. They were also the only snack food I’ve ever seen whose website sold snack seasoning in bulk.

Pro tip: It looks a bit like crack cocaine, only it tastes like sour cream and onion.

1/10- HORRID

Brim’s Fireballs


Image Copyright Taquitos

Food and I stopped at the dollar store for a little R and R in the air-conditioning, to gawk at the colorful customers and scout out strange things to buy and eat. We walked out with Harry Potter glasses, a Windex-flavored drink, and these.

I had seen Brim’s stuff on Taquitos, and I was intrigued. I love things in cans, and I live for cheese balls. We opened them up in the car, prompting the ever-popular “balls between my legs” joke that we carried on for another hour or so.

They are bright red and take on the appearance of those old Cheetos asteroids, the hot flavored ones. They don’t smell very hot. On the outside of the box is a passage from Isaiah, which we liked considering it’s a product that calls itself fiery cheese-flavored balls.

They tasted like packing peanuts with hot sauce, but weren’t really hot. If you wanted heat, you had to eat a lot of them, which Food stopped, because he said it was gross-looking to watch me try and eke the hot out of the balls.

Ha ha. Balls.

There wasn’t much flavor, except the occasional change in texture with a hard corn thing. Nothing special. Brim’s website has the usual subsections- products, news, and ETERNAL LIFE. And sweet and spicy pork cracklins’. Their flavors fascinate me. I want more.

I long to live in the South.

2/10- CRAP