The December Delirium Tremens: Holiday Gifts, Walgreens, and You #HappyAllTheWay

I am a member of the Collective Bias/Social Fabric Community. This shop has been compensated as a part of a social shopper insights study for Collective Bias and their client. Screw those Whitman’s Samplers and chintzy stockings– you want this Christmas present idea for your next shindig. Yes, I was paid. No, it doesn’t make this any less awesome.DSC_6877Guest Anxiety II: The Guest-ening is out now that Christmas is in season and people have forgotten Hanukkah. I’ve partnered with Walgreens and Collective Bias to create a wholly essential, utterly ridiculous hostess gift for the holidays. Ladies and ladies, and lost gentlemen, I present to you, the December Delirium Tremens. It’s 100% more useful than sriracha-bacon candy canes, and gender androgynous to boot. It has a few nifty gifties in its blanketed confines as a clever nod for the afterparty, or the day after. If someone brought me a hostess gift that was meant for usage in the party, I’d be miffed. I naturally assume, that like me, all host(esse)s have coordinated and planned everything for their parties in mid-July. It would be presumptuous of me to add something that could potentially clash. Incidentally, this is also why I end up bringing Carr’s Water Crackers and gin to every party I go to. I’m a hit at 8th birthdays. Continue reading “The December Delirium Tremens: Holiday Gifts, Walgreens, and You #HappyAllTheWay”

Polar Butter Rum Seltzer

It has come to my attention that, due to my cryogenic freezing on the other side of the planet, everything I’m now seeing on shelves at my local big-box stores is actually a rehashing of last year’s limited-edition goods. For starters, damn it, France. And also, damn it, companies, when did you just give the hell up? Great, I get to sip on last year’s butter rum seltzer. Maybe I’ll take out my Zune and play the Mariah Carey holiday album in my Snuggie and eat Air Crisps while we’re being retroactive, too. I shouldn’t have to spend my grant money on turkey-flavored ice cream. Where’s the turkey-flavored seltzer for the masses? Pumpkin pie? Christmas cookies? Latkes?DSC_6705 Continue reading “Polar Butter Rum Seltzer”

Palais des Thés Vive le Thé

I’m dead. There’s nothing left of me but a pile of promissory notes and a battered, bloody copy of the Model Penal Code. What’s the difference between a lawyer and a shut-in? The degree. What’s the difference between breakfast and lunch? No damned clue. I had a coffee for lunch. I distinctly remember blinking once at 10AM and once at 12PM and all of a sudden, it was 4 and the sun was going down.DSC_6669Oh my god. Continue reading “Palais des Thés Vive le Thé”