Starbucks Pumpkin Scone


So I’ve been on a diet lately. My ultimate goal is…45 pounds, I know. It’s pretty sad. I can do it, I just need vigilance, exercise, and the grace of God to keep me from selling my soul to cheese fries. Why the fuck was I put in a place with such good foods?

So for the next few months, you guys will be seeing a lot more…uuurrggghh…healthy foods. Ick. No, I’ll have a good selection of my normal stuff, and of course, plenty of homemade goodies, but if you see the occasional Odwalla bar pop up every now and then, don’t get worried.

Today’s offering is from Starbucks. Lately I’ve been getting a few things here and there because my cousin keeps reloading my card, so I got a scone today and had a free cup of coffee to while away my hours before my next class.

The pumpkin scone was a pleasing and colorful fall offering, but didn’t cater to my expectations by any means. It was too dry and too crumbly, and the pumpkin flavor was limited only to the orange food coloring and the orange stripes of frosting on top. Really, Starbucks. It’s hard to make a dry pumpkin dessert, as pumpkin is damned moist. So what did you do to screw it up?

I even went as far as to warm it in the microwave for a few seconds, but it was the same, just scalding hot and mouth-burn inducing. In addition to this, it’s 480 calories, which is a lot for crumbly bread.

3/10- INEDIBLE

Oscar Mayer Deli Creations: Honey Ham and Swiss


With my last failure at creating a deli creation, I set about doing this the right way.

With the Turkey Monterey, which I will review soon, I had ambivalence about microwaving and chose to eat the bread raw with the toppings. Big mistake. Stupid, stupid mistake. It was crumbly and gross and got crap all over my desk.

So this time, I figured I’d do it right, and took it downstairs to the kitchen to microwave. What I ended up doing took a little more work than the average slap-it-together and eat sandwich, but made the product taste better. I hope that’s not cheating. I took the cheese and sandwiched it in the bread, microwaved for thirty seconds, and then flipped it over and microwaved for another twenty. Took it out, the cheese was all melty, and put a little mayo and mustard on, then the ham, and sandwiched it together and ate it.

First observation was that the bread was eons better than the last sandwich. Not crumbly, a little toasty, a little crispy, and much more buttery. The ham is always amazing. It’s like delicious meat paper, as Heat Eat Review said, and there’s so freaking much of it. I like to fold my slices in half and just pile them onto the sandwich. The cheese was gooey, but lost a lot of its flavor in the process. That might have been because it was less fat, but I can’t tell. Either way, it could have used more sharpness.

My biggest complaint is that the mustard was completely overpowering and spicy. I only put about 1/3 of the packet on and it still managed to be the dominant flavor in the sandwich. It was bad at some parts, too. Very grainy and seedy. The sandwich is honey ham and swiss, not mustardwich. I would have liked a small packet of honey mustard or perhaps just honey to put on the sandwich. Aside from that, not bad at all.

6/10- EH.

Cookie Cutter Cafe

Back on another run from Etsy sellers, here’s a selection of cookies from the Cookie Cutter Cafe, out of Nashville, Tennessee. They sent me a good sized box stuffed with all different flavors of cookies! So here they are, up for review.

The first cookie I tried was an orange chocolate cookie, a nice chocolate cookie with orange extract, sprinkles, and a chocolate dot on top. Unfortunately, this cookie was a little bland for my tastes. I love the combination of orange and chocolate, and the flavors just seemed to cancel each other out. The cookie’s texture was nice and crisp, but the flavors just didn’t impress me as much as I thought they would.

4/10- ALL RIGHT

The next cookie was easily one of the best cookies I have ever consumes, and that was the gingersnap. I also ought to mention that the packaging on these is lovely! They’re all done individually with a CCC logo sticker on the back, in plastic covering so you can see the cookie’s contents. Back to the gingersnap. The cookies in this selection very so greatly in texture, but this was the best of them all. The cookie had a snap to it but was chewy and crumbly and soft, and was really delicious, with a sweet ginger taste and a buttery flavoring. Really good cookies, and the perfect size, too!

9/10- AMAZING

One of the most unusual cookies I’ve ever had was in this selection, too, and that was the red velvet chili cookie. It was a dark red, like the cake, but smelled cinnamony and chili-like, and made a really fascinating flavor. I liked how they didn’t just use a chocolate cookie with chili, but incorporated an eye-popping red velvet. This is a soft and chubby cake-like cookie, and I prefer how the flavors worked with a soft cookie rather than a hard one. It’s definitely one of the most interesting cookies I’ve ever had, with the juxtaposition of the cocoa in the cookie batter and the hot chili, it was a really interesting cookie.

7/10- GREAT

One of the other cookies they packed in, I really didn’t want to eat because it was so cute! That was the frosted heart sugar cookie. Sometimes when people frost cookies, it looks like it’s been done with a precise machine, and other times you feel like you’re eating a cookie your mom could have made, but better done and free of scrutiny for caloric intake. 😉 This is that cookie. It’s a delicate, fluffy, big heart-shaped sugar cookie, with red frosting on top with knife marks where it was handspread. Ladies and gentlemen, the epitome of care. I loved that. It was a really nice touch to see where someone else had put their mark on it. And the cookie was delicious! The only bit of scrutiny I might have was that the frosting tasted a little chemically from the dye, but nothing else. A good cookie!

8/10- MMMMM!

The last cookie in the selection was a lemon sugar cookie. It had a sugar cookie base, with a tart lemon icing and some powdered sugar dusting the top. The cookie was good, nice and crumbly and moist, but the lemon flavoring was a little overpowering and was just too much for me. I like tart things, but think that these could have used a little more sugar. It was just a rather overpowering flavor. The texture was nice, but I liken these to a tart lemonade than a sugar cookie.

5/10- DELIGHTFUL

Cookie Cutter Cafe is located in Nashville, Tennessee, and all of these items and more can be purchased from their website, www.cookiecuttercafe.etsy.com

Candy Corn Dots


I know these have been oft reviewed since their debut a few weeks ago in Target stores, but I saw them and was pretty excited to try eating them.

They’re dot shaped and sized, like normal dots, but are candy corn colored. The odd thing is that they don’t have the little dot on the top, the white tip part. But they are a pumpkin orange color and yellow on the bottoms.

The dots taste a lot like candy corn, but with a little more artificial taste, like fake butter. They’re chewy and have a good bite to them, not like gum drops but a little firmer. I like them a lot. I’m just not sure if I’d eat more than a few in one sitting. They’re not that kind of snack.

Overall, they’re a really fun Halloween treat. There’s a scarecrow on the box and it’s a nice touch than some of the holiday repackaging that other candies and snacks do.

6/10 NICE

Candies, Seasonal and Strange

I have a few candies that I picked up at the convenience store that looked somewhat different from your average candy fare.

The first is a sour gecko gummy, made by E. Frutti. He’s a cute little guy, made from rainbow blended pastel gummy with a sour sugar candy coating. For 25 cents, he was mine.

As far as taste goes, it’s…interesting. My first thought was fruit punch, but the overlying taste is a mixture of lemonade and dish detergent. Not the best flavor. The different colors aren’t different flavors, but that might be better because they’re all mixed up, anyhow. It’s a nice chew, with a good give, but evokes more texture-wise of those foamy gummies than a translucent gummy-bear type of candy. It’s a nice snack, but I won’t be rushing out to get him again, cute as he was.

4/10- ALL RIGHT

The next snack was really adorable and tasty to boot! It’s an interesting concept, an x-fish. The gummy is in two parts, one outer fish-skin, scaly piece that’s really detailed and translucent, and an inner skeleton with tail and head, like the type you’d see cartoon cats munching on. The skin piece is an interesting flavor. It’s really detailed and pretty to look at, but it tastes like incense might taste, a heady, tea-like flavor. The skeleton comes in a number of colors. I got green, which was an apple-like flavor. The white skeleton part was creamy, but still gummy as opposed to foam. Overall, it’s not a very substantial treat and had that strange tea-taste, but I love the concept and would definitely buy these as favors or as a small treat.

6/10- NICE

My last treat was for Halloween, a Reese’s Peanut Butter Pumpkin. I like these because of the peanut butter to chocolate ratio. I don’t think there’s a single person out there who buys PB cups for the chocolate quality. It’s the combination, and that damned peanut butter texture, that grainy, graham-y, delicious, peanut butter. So this was a nice treat for me.

I’m not sure if they’re getting smaller or if my appetite is getting bigger, but the little pumpkin was the perfect size for me. They’re fun and rich and tasty.

8/10- GOOOOOOD!

Kim and Scott’s Gourmet Pizza Pretzel

Le sigh. My expectations were definitely too high for these pretzels.

I might have screwed them up, though. Because I have a tiny, awful dorm fridge, I put these in the fridge part, closest to the freezer so they’d freeze. I took one out of the package, and was met with a huge whiff of garlic and oregano. Yummy!

I microwaved it for 30 seconds instead of 50, because it was thawed and I didn’t want it to leak or explode or get gummy. I should have done it for the full time. The sauce was cold on the inside, but it was still pretty tasty. Unfortunately, the pretzel promised cheese and sauce, and all I got was a good sauce, but no cheese.

If this pretzel has more cheese that blended with the sauce and didn’t dominate, it would definitely get a higher rating. That being said, though, I’ll definitely try more of these pretzels! They’re awesome.

5/10- GOOD

Kim and Scott’s Gourmet Grilled Cheese Pretzel


Here’s another example of an oft-overlooked treat, the soft pretzel, and the response, the pimped-out version of this snack.

This particular pretzel is grilled cheese flavored. Everyone loves a good, toasty, gooey grilled cheese, so why not in a pretzel? I never figured they’d be able to insert the flavor of a grilled cheese into a pretzel. Anyone can cram cheese sauce into a pretzel and call it a day. But would they be able to emulate the crispy and buttery outer shell of a grilled cheese? The salty, melty cheese on the inside?

In a word, yes.

Kim and Scott make these amazing gourmet pretzels. They’re frozen, in a box, so you can pop them out and into the microwave or toaster oven any time you’d like. I had mine in a microwave, but it was a little less crispy than I’ve have liked it, so next time I might just pop it into the toaster for a few minutes after thawing it out. They’re also fully cooked, so can be eaten in a lunch box, cold.

This particular pretzel is oozing with cheese, lots of gooey and stringy, high-quality cheddar cheese. It has a nice, buttery flavor without being greasy, and maintains that salty pretzel goodness. They’re pretty substantial, too. Six ounces of pretzel makes a good snack for some and a good meal-on-the-go for others.

Overall, awesome. Best of all, Kim and Scott’s have many varieties of pretzels for anyone’s tastes. In the next few days, I’ll be trying their pizza flavor, and their egg and cheese pretzel, too.

8/10- GREAT

Odwalla Chocolate Protein Monster


Here’s a drink that has been getting me through the day. On Tuesdays and Thursdays, I have three classes in a row- three hard History classes and damn if I ain’t beat by the time those are finally over. Usually, I stop at the “Oasis” in my hall and grab a bagel or something, but lately I’ve been trying to avoid carbs and if I don’t need them in a snack, no point in eating them.

So I’ve been getting this drink. The first time I saw it, it was while gazing hungrily at it and I got up because it looked so good, I had to get one. I did, and it was no mistake. The shake is soy milk, but I couldn’t taste anything remotely resembling soy. Just good, rich chocolate.

The shake fills you up fast, so it’s good for a meal replacement or just a good “to go” snack. One recommendation I do have is that the drink is thoroughly mixed pre-consumption. There’s a layer of Dutch chocolate at the bottom that should not go to waste!

7/10- TASTY