Late July Organic Snacks


This is an extremely late post, I believe I was sent these snacks in October, and still have yet to review them. It was rude of me, and hence, my public apology/review. If I forget a product, it’s out of my own absent-mindedness, not because I don’t want to review it!

So, without further ado, some delicious little cookies.

Late July Organic Snacks is an organic company making snacks that are fun for the whole family and donating to the Jane Goodall foundation, too.

They provided two flavors of cookies for me to try, milk chocolate between endangered animal vanilla cookies and white chocolate between endangered animal chocolate cookies. The endangered animal part is adorable and helpful- on each cookie, there is an endangered animal, like a black footed ferret, red fox or a panda bear.

So, and again, I’m sorry, I tried these a while ago, and don’t have my original photos, but I tried them, I ate these for a nice snack in between classes. The milk chocolate flavor was a really authentic, nice taste, with a rich, chocolatey mouthfeel with a slightly salty aftertaste that worked really well, but overpowered the vanilla cookie. The cookie itself struck me as being a little bland, and I’d have liked to see more of a shortbread or intense vanilla taste to it.

As for the white chocolate and chocolate cookie, it was a little deceptive because the white chocolate didn’t really remind me of white chocolate so much as just a vanilla-flavored treat, but the chocolate cookie was really hearty, sort of a chocolate plus flavor, and it was nice to have a little more chew to it. It was nice. I liked grabbing a handful of these for a snack on the go or in front of the TV. They were filling and quite tasty, and didn’t leave an aftertaste, plus, they’re all natural and don’t have the artificial colors or preservatives that some snacks do.

On the Border, Rocky Hill, CT

I’m home, repenting like the awful food blogger that I am for being tired and less of a robot and not posting yesterday. My mother took me to On the Border for lunch, though, and I was so intrigued by a post that Phoood did on their Loaded Carne Asada tacos that I decided to go for their counterparts, the Loaded Buffalo Chicken tacos.

When we got there, we were presented with these fantastic, amazing, salty, hot from wherever they came from, massive half moon tortilla chips in a basket. And yes, that’s my mother’s vastly superior camera phone. Having never been to an OTB, this was fucking awesome. With these were two cups of salsa WITH NO CHUNKS OF AWFUL VEGETABLES, as you know, a Foodette pet peeve. There were two cups, presumably, to share, but I did sort of expect different flavors of salsa. The salsa happened to be amazing. It was sweet, spicy, perfectly textured, and really popped in my mouth.

Everything just tasted really fresh, even for an appetizer, and it just beat the lazy Italian bread and butter or the store-bought chips and canned pico one might find at another place. I thought we’d have needed more dips, like guacamole or queso, and they might be fun to try, but honestly, with this and a few drinks, I could have left completely satisfied. Oh, and this basket is always refilled. They encourage it. Sometimes a dish doesn’t need to be complicated to be utterly amazing.


I got my tacos without any sides, because I figured that with my chip whoring, they would be enough, and I was right. The tacos are quite large, the base being made of flatbread, then grilled, with grilled chicken in buffalo sauce, crispy onion strings, bleu cheese, and a creamy red chili sauce on top.


The flatbread was nice and thick, but not thick enough to be bland, and a good width to soak up the sauces. It also had a good, crispy char on the outside. The chicken was tender, and I loved the sauce that it was in. The red chili sauce was delicious, but I might not have guessed that it was chili sauce at all. I dipped my leftover chips in it and ended up mixing the salsa in it and pouring that on the taco. Orgasmic. Oh god. I love red sauce of any form, I tell you.

The onion straws were good, but in the second taco, really overpowered the flavor and texture and became too much for me, clumping together and completely taking away the bleu cheese and really minimizing the chicken. The heat saved the day, and they were crispy enough to give a mixture of textures, though.

Chili’s, Hadley, MA

Death Cake and I went and enjoyed ourselves over some awesome appetizers and phenomenal conversation, as is the norm, at Chili’s. We split the Southwestern Egg Rolls and the Chocolate Lava Cake for dessert.
The SER were tasty. DC and I were somewhat split on the dough on the egg rolls, as it wasn’t authentic. It was a lot flakier, like a phyllo dough, than a chewy egg roll dough, and much less greasy. I was sort of on the fence, but Death Cake was a fan. The filling is all right, it’s a spicy mixture of beans, corn, a salsa mix. It was very hot, and I wish there had been more congruency in between the ingredients, because it tasted like they had just been mushed together and were one large mass of spiced and patented Chili’s appetizer success story. The spices were good, not too spicy, and I did like the cilantro added to the egg roll. The concept is there, it just needs work.

As for the avocado ranch dip, it was really tasty and added a creamy and spicy kick to the bland and salty egg rolls.


As for the lava cake, it’s really not bad. I like the ice cream, and I’m fickle about my ice cream. I generally don’t like ice cream with most desserts, as I like ice cream either on its own or not at all.

However, the combination of different sauces, textures, and temperatures worked with this dessert better than the last lava cake I had at Chili’s because of the ice cream, I think. The caramel sauce was a highlight to the dessert that I really ended up enjoying. There was also a magic chocolate shell that hardened on top of the ice cream that added a nice element to the chocolate cake. The cake itself was unimpressive, like the other. It soaked up a lot of the melted ice cream, though, and that made it really awesome, like a trifle, to eat. I still can’t get over how it’s more like a baby bundt cake with the lava filling in the middle.

Baking bread…and a surprise!


Hey, look, an egg. It’s the last one I’ll have to borrow from the Dining Commons this semester. They don’t seem to mind, though. They like me. Also, enjoy my badass leather jacket.

And, hey, look, some bread. That bread happens to be mine. Made by me. It’s sour dough bread, with an egg wash and salt on top, made for my shrink for passing her doctoral comprehensive exams.

But…what the hell is that? Is that…a pan? And is that…a Silpat?

Readers?

That’s right.

Crickets.

Because you don’t hear any complaints. About tin foil, burnt fingers, mixing things in pots, pot cookies, bread, or any other baked goods, pens as utensils, or otherwise.

Reader, I have been sent cooking supplies. Finally, there is proof of a God. Or at least, sympathy.

It’s a holiday miracle! Debbie from Doodles Cookies sent me this amazing basket with a mixing bowl, measuring cups, spoons, spatula, a pan, potholder, dishtowel, her brand new cookie mix, Double Chocolate Habanero, and Silpat. Silpats are a girl’s best friend, I tell you. That thing is the best, ever. So for that, and the lovely holiday card she sent as well, I wholeheartedly thank her. And I can assure you that my readers do, too, now that they don’t have to hear me yap and complain.

However, in recent news, I have a new obsession. I am saving up for a new project, readers, and that happens to be a foray into the world of molecular gastronomy. I found a relatively cheap kit on the internet that I’ll be purchasing and intend on spending one or more of my breaks chronicling my exploits with said activity. So, more on that later, but for now, reviews!

Thanks again, Debbie!

Foodette

The Twelve Days of Slurpees: 7 Mountain Dew Slurpees

Yum, yum, yum, we’re getting into the less esoteric flavors as Death Cake and I- gasp! run out of ‘Slevins to go to, ha ha ha. But it’s all good, because if you’re slightly ambivalent about Mountain Dew, the Slurpee equivalent isn’t actually that similar.

This is really awesome because I’m all right with Mountain Dew. I dig anything that reduces my sperm count, y’know. I don’t want to impregnate anyone. I’m sorry. I apologize, on behalf of Foodette Reviews, for the unusual amount of sperm-related content as of late. It’s finals week. I write these comatose.

Anyhow, the taste! It makes me ecstatic because it’s really, really close to cherry limeade, and I am a sucker for anything cherry limeade related. This one, for whatever reason, didn’t blend as well, and there were little bits in them that reminded me of the popular summer treat, Popsicle Shots, little semi-soft pieces that I had to chew up. Still tasty. It was good. If someone had given it to me, I might not have associated it with Mountain Dew, which was interesting, but it was still pretty tasty. Even though it was freezing out, I drank the whole cup, all 12 oz. I’m a lightweight, give me a break.

Fuze Refresh Strawberry Guava


Speaking of creamy and slurpy drinks, this drink looks like semen.

I just thought you ought to know. It tastes good and fine. It’s got a refreshing taste, as the name implies. I’m not sure what guava tastes like, because I had Goya guava juice so long ago, but it seems very watered down by all the milky, half and half-esque stuff in this drink. I’m not sure why they put that in here, actually.

As far as the berry taste goes, it’s always a little Twilight Zone when there’s supposedly a berry flavor, but nothing to imply berry as far as color goes. Oh well. Beggars can’t be choosers, especially since this was bought for me. This is a nice drink. There’s a chalky residue to it and there’s some drink silt at the bottom, but if you’re trendy and organic and like to be pumped full of vitamins, don’t let the man stop you.

IT LOOKS LIKE SEMEN.

A Christmas Cheesecake, aka, the Christmas Foodette Copout


For fun and profit, and also, because Death Cake and I felt like making some damned cheesecakes.

1 1/2 pound cream cheese or if you’re awesome, 1 pound of cream cheese and 8 oz. mascarpone cheese. That’s what we did.
1 cup sugar
5 large eggs
1/4 teaspoon salt
2 teaspoon vanilla
1/4 cup flour
8 ounces sour cream
Oreo cookies (coarsely chopped for the batter)

1.All ingredients must be at room temperature before beginning. Beat cream cheese with a mixer on low until fluffy.
2. Slowly add sugar and continue beating cream cheese until mixed well.
3. Add eggs one at a time and continue to beat until blended.
4. Measure the vanilla, salt and flour, pour into cream cheese and egg mixture and beat until smooth. Add the sour cream and beat.
5. Stir in the coarsely chopped cookies with a spoon.
6. Pour cream cheese into the pan and place the nine coarsely chopped cookies on to of the cream mixture.
7. Place pan on the top rack and in the middle of a oven at 325 degrees F and bake for one hour and 15 minutes.

And I’m eating some for breakfast now. Because being thug means never having to say you’re sorry. Or do the dishes. Yum.

The Twelve Days of Slurpees: 6 Crystal Light Peach Mango Fusion Slurpees


Phew, what a frigging mouthful that was, and I’m not talking about the monster snowball DC winged at my face as we walked into the ‘Slevin.

And by snowball, I obviously mean awful joke about age.

Another day, another Slurpee, another Seven-Eleven, and it’s all awesome stuff, Foodketeers. Let’s get this ball rolling. Here’s a sugar-free Crystal Light selection, and it really wasn’t awful. If anything, it was addictive. There was a strange, bitter taste to it that I quickly got used to, a strange prickly taste much like eating a real mango, and I got an equal taste of the mango and the peach. Must be the fusion they were talking about. That was lame.

It’s not bad. I didn’t get any of the creamy texture that I got with the other thirty thousand Slurpees I’ve had, but a lot more carbonation. When I filled this, it turned into every single third grade science experiment I’ve ever done and exploded over the top of the cover. It was awesome. Overall, not awful. The acidity made me eat Tums for a few days, but not crappy.

The Twelve Days of Slurpees: 5 Fanta Pina Colada Slurpees

Death Cake and I spent an inordinately awesome amount of time together today and thus, got more than one Slurpee, and also made the cheesecake you can now see while I catch up on the last two days of posts, no?

So this is another Fanta Slurpee, and for lack of posterity, I am changing some of the titles to reflect the Slurpee injustice to make this the Twelve Days of Slurpees, so by my math, I should only be subjecting you to 7 more of these, I promise.

This is a Pina Colada Slurpee, and it made me laugh, because in addition to there being a larger than average gay and lesbian population in Amherst and Northampton, there also appears to be a larger than average sadist and asshole population. The temperature is no higher than 26 degrees on a good day and it’s still a freaking Slurpee, and Pina Colada is a drink for cruises. Could it get any worse?

The drink’s not bad. It really isn’t. There are nice elements of coconut and pineapple, less pineapple than “generic acidic sour flavor that children love,” and a strange, lemony, Pine Sol bordering on granita flavor that I also detected, too. As usual, the slushy texture is unto its own and is always appreciated. I liked this one. The creaminess came out a lot more and went together pretty well with the coconut, making it a little better than the other drinks where creaminess didn’t really make sense. Plus, this specific ‘Slevin only had Gulps and they sold them for $1 apiece. It was awesome. And it looks like snow! It’s sooooo festive, because WE TOTALLY DON’T HAVE ANY OF THAT AROUND HERE.

The Twelve Days of Slurpees: 4 Fanta Wild Cherry Slurpees

Ah, there we go, the cough syrup/melted lollipop residue conglomerate rears its ugly head. It’s not as bad as that, actually; it’s more delicate, like if that mixture were blended with…pastry cream, or something.

Yes, folks, it’s another creamy, delicious, slightly salty, squirting out too quickly…Slurpee, from 7-11! Yummy!

Another Fanta selection this time, though, in Wild Cherry. It seemed a bit pedestrian, but since this one wasn’t offering anything outside of Crystal Light, and I wasn’t feeling that damned soccer mom beverage, I went for it.

The drink isn’t bad, it’s a classic. Sort of like your mother’s old ’98 Ford Explorer or Sorry! It’s pushed aside for another, more popular beverage. Which isn’t a bad thing, but you have to be craving its flavor, because it tends to get inconsistent in its taste, one moment having a surge of cherry flavor, one moment having a little bit of creaminess, strangely, because the mixture is always being stirred in the machine.