Skinny Cow Ice Cream Bonanza

It’s almost time for some hot-weather treats, and this week, the thermostat got up to 77, so my mom broke down and bought that fabled of summer treats, ice cream.

She’s not the kind to get Ben and Jerry’s or, you know, the good stuff, as we grumble, but to her credit, she does bring back new things.

So last week, she sniffed out two new treats at the grocery store, from the Skinny Cow brand.

The Skinny Cow brand boasts one of the creepiest mascots I’ve ever seen, one that looks straight out of a Furry culture wet dream, a slender, dare I say, sexy bovine with a seductively wrapped in a dress measuring ruler to show you all how skinny she is, GASP JUST BY EATING ICE CREAM.

So I was intrigued and decided to try these out for myself.

Skinny Cow Chocolate Peanut Butter Ice Cream Sandwiches. All right, let’s get one thing clear. These do not look like the lovely stock photo. No ice cream you will see, especially a mass-produced one, will look like the photo, with over half the damned thing being peanut butter. Not if it’s low fat.

However, for the customer to accurately judge whether or not they do want to purchase these, they’re in a lovely see-through container. No surprises here, folks.

The ice cream is rich, a little watery at times, but consistent, and I could taste the peanut butter and the chocolate blending very well together. The sandwich is like all ice cream sandwiches- it sticks to your fingers like envelope glue and forces you to develop a layer of chocolate skin by the end of the sandwich.

Not a bad treat, folks. Six to a pack, they go very fast.

7/10- NOT BAD

The next treat I tried by Skinny Cow was their Skinny Dippers, in French Vanilla and Caramel flavors. Sub-par at best, with the mockolate coating chipping off and melting on my keyboard…is it the PPC or the bad chocolate?

The caramel wasn’t a great flavor, just the tiniest hint of a buttery taste, and the vanilla was watery and had the consistency of a popsicle, that’s how much water was in it.

Yucky.

3/10- GROSS

I’m on The Impulsive Buy!

For my snarky review of the Butterfinger Creme pie, it seems…

This is probably one of the least appetizing Butterfinger products ever. (via Foodette Reviews)

Sweet!

So, as my daily review count skyrocketed to over 400 in a day, I’d like to remind you again: I review anything. I love to hear from readers. I will add you to my blogroll. I love fan mail, samples, suggestions, please! Send me a note or comment here!

Foodette

On tap…

Here’s what the next week will look like…I have a few packages and samples coming from some wonderful companies, so I’ll be treating you to those this week!

– Newman’s Own Organics is sending some goodies over
– Welch’s is quenching my thirst and love for grapes
– Many random samples of free things, including Emergen-C
– A Snackdown between McDonalds’ apple pie and Burger King’s apple pie

And more!

Foodette

Monster Energy Drink

Monster energy drink, my friend always said, tastes like robot piss.

Okay, so she wasn’t too far off the mark, but I’d never tried a Monster. First sip, it’s lightly carbonated, with big bubbles, and it has that lovely, fruity, chemical taste to it. I’m being sarcastic, of course, but it gets better.

The color is different than what I expected. It’s not bright green, but a light pinkish color, which is nice, and the taste gets a little better as you sip. It’s a fruity flavor, pretty fake, but it kept me awake.

I wish it was a different flavor, because that Windex-y taste seems to be the quintessential taste of energy drinks, and I feel like I’m gulping down medicine rather than a beverage.

3/10- LAME

Burger King Butterfinger Creme Pie

This is the second of four pie or pie-flavored items in Burger King’s menu, and it was great, but falls short of the standard I hold to the Hershey creme pie.

It’s basically another silk pie, with a peanut-butter creme studded with Butterfingers, topped with whipped cream, chocolate drizzle, and more Butterfinger pieces, all on a peanut-butter graham crust.

The photo looks hefty, almost overwhelmingly topped with candy and chocolate, but the real pie is just a little underwhelming. I had maybe three chocolate drizzles and tasted one chuck of Butterfinger throughout the entire pie. Don’t get me wrong, the taste was delicious, it was just too bland. The peanut-butter creme didn’t have any candy in it and just tasted like more whipped cream. The crust was very tasty, though. I love the texture juxtaposition of crumbly cookies and cream.

I’d get it again, but I have to try the Oreo “pie” shake now and the Dutch apple pie before I judge the ultimate winner.

5/10- OKAY

Burger King Iced Mocha

I bought this in its only size, a medium, today.

The cup is strange. It’s very slender and rather thick, and the straw has a very large diameter, more appropriately suited for bubble tea or milkshake.

This drink was lukewarm. I thought it would have more ice than it did, as there is a specific little line on the cup for where to fill it with ice. It had no chocolate swirl like the photo showed or barely any chocolate flavoring. Come to think of it, it barely had any coffee flavoring. It was basically lukewarm whole milk with a twinge of brown dye, coffee extract and chocolate scent.

This was an awful drink. If I get a mocha anything, I’ll stick to Starbucks, because their mochas are just supreme.

1/10- GROSS

Iceland Pure Spring Water

Couldn’t find a picture of this, so you’ll just have to make do.

This is good water. I never see the point of drinking different waters, aside from Voss, which is funny because I had a friend who used to throw Voss and Baby Voss water bottles at his theatre teacher’s head, but I digress. I don’t like paying lots of money for water bottled at other places when Poland Spring is fine.

This water was all right. It wasn’t anything special, but it wasn’t gross with additives or yucky substances, it was just…water. I usually put little drink packets in mine anyway, so there’s no real problem with it.

The bottle is pretty. It looks like the Fiji bottles, with a waterfall scene that’s magnified by the water and small when the water is gone and the bottle is nice and tall.

4/10- OKAY

Peanut Butter M&M’s


These might sound a little pedestrian, but trust me, they’re a classic. I thought nothing could beat Crispy M&Ms, but here they are, the underdog.

It’s a shame, what with the M&M franchise, that the bigger the nut, the less candy in the bag, which is why I never get the almond ones anymore. Of course, these are just as good.

The M&M isn’t bigger, diameter-wise, than your average candy, but is much taller and peaked at times, due to the little blobbette of peanut butter on the inside. It’s the same candy shell, same colors, and the peanut butter is good. It’s not like Reese’s peanut butter cup, there’s no crumble, but that would be amazing, no? It’s not like a Reese’s Pieces taste, that peanut butter hard candy. It’s just in a class of its own. To liken it to anything, at its furthest form, would be to Lindt Peanut Butter, because it’s a ganache-style butter, quite tasty and salty.

These are just classically great candies. They’re my go-to when I just don’t feel like eating anything new. I just wish there were more to a bag, because they’re addictive as hell.

9/10- AMAZING

Burger King Tendercrisp Sandwich and Fries

My mom treated me to BK a few days back, and who am I to pass up a free meal?

I opened up the sandwich, and it was hefty, but no- that was just the vegetables. I don’t like them. To their credit, I had two large slices of tomato and a good piece of lettuce. It helps to order without mayonnaise, because then there’s no “sog” factor.

The piece of chicken was no reconstituted meat for sure. It was tasty, flavorful even on its own, and the bun was good. A nice corn-dusted bun. But it just wasn’t anything special, nothing for me to rave about to my friends. Honestly, I’d be better off getting the McDonald’s Southern Chicken Sandwich for $2.89 or the cheaper McChicken compared to this five-buck price. It’s cheaper, more flavorful, and more filling.

My advice? Go to BK for dessert and the Enormous Omelette Sandwich.
5/10- LAME

Moving onto the fries. No matter how many times I go to Burker King, the fries are always lukewarm at best. They’ve always had this strange taste with their batter, like the taste of panko without the texture. They’re “eh” at best. If anything, their cheesy tots are better.

3/10- GROSS