A selection from Whisked Away Bakery

Aside from having an incredibly adorable name, Whisked Away Bakery does whisk me- in both senses of the word- to a gastronomical fantasy land.

I got a large package, filled to the brim with treats and colorful paper. There were four treats to eat, an Aztec brownie with cinnamon, chipotle powder, and pine nuts on top, two chocolate chip cookies, two white chocolate cranberry cookies, and an orange creamsicle rice crispy treat.

I tried the white chocolate cranberry cookies first, while munching around and looking at the rest of the goodies. These are huge, huge cookies, about the size of a dessert plate, and thick as hell. They are overall, quite crunchy, with very little give. The white chocolate is dotted intermittently throughout the cookie with the cranberries, as well as some sort of strange, unlisted nut.

Shauna, the proprietor, puts an ingredient list on the back of each package so you know what’s going into it. There is very little going into these, and in this case, less is more. These cookies are very filling, if a tad too crumbly for me, but have a delicious, homey feel to them that makes them high on my list.

7/10- LOVELY

Next up were the chocolate chip cookies. I mean, damn, these things really are large and hefty cookies. The batter was similar, with the same warm and homey feel of the white chocolate cookies, but was liberally studded with chocolate chips.

I guess I felt like there would have been a little more chocolate in these, or maybe might have hit the point home better if they were half-dipped in chocolate. They were just a little too crunchy for me, but my dad liked them. He’s an aficionado for all things crispy-crunchy.

6/10- YUMMY

Next was the orange creamsicle rice crispy treat. This was truly a gourmet treat. It was two layers thick, one layer consisting of a vanilla bean rice crispy treat and the other layer an orange flavored treat, just like the frozen delight!

The cutest, most adorable part about this, which I personally loved, was the ice cream stick it was perched upon. This served two purposes. It made it into a lollipop, which was extremely cute and original and really played off of the ice cream pop flavor, and it took the stickiness away from my hands. Not that this was even a very sticky treat, actually.

The orange and vanilla, when eaten separately, were delicious, but together, fused a delightful and creamy-tasting treat. The crunch is of the utmost perfection when you sink your teeth into this. I loved how it retained its shape and stuck together without crumbling.

This is, without a doubt, the ultimate kid’s delight. And adults, too, now, with this sophisticated flavoring and tasty portability.

9/10- EXCELLENT

The last treat was the real star of this batch, the Aztec chocolate brownie. I have to admit- I almost didn’t try this. The idea of chocolate and spiciness has been kicked around by a number of chocolatiers, and the idea just didn’t appeal to me as much. But I had to try it, and I can never turn down a good, fudgey brownie.

I was so, so wrong. I warmed the brownie up for a few seconds before eating it, and topped it with a little whipped cream. I took a bite. It was chewy. It was smooth and dense, almost like a ganache cake than a brownie. But no heat. Just when I was about to write it off, it was like a little tiny Shauna was at the back of my throat, pounding at it going, “Not on my brownie, you don’t!”

Heat.

HEAT.

HEAT!

It burnt. It made me salivate. It was perfect. It was perfect and chocolatey and delicious. The ancho chipotle provided a smokey, but very subtle and tasty burn in my throat that didn’t hurt or take away any of the taste. It just warmed up my entire sensory system, like drinking a hot chocolate or eating something with lots of cinnamon. It was warm. And so, so tasty.

I was wrong. I’ll be the first to admit it. It was incredible. This brownie was like a dessert rather than a bake sale treat. It was amazing, and I’d be glad to try it again…and again…and again! I wish I had a picture to show you, but it’s a brand new product from Whisked Away. The pine nuts were the perfect, subtle crunch, too.

10/10- SUPERB

So if you’re like me, and dissuaded by some new things, don’t be! I tried quail egg…why not this?

Whisked Away Bakery
whiskedawaybakery.etsy.com

McDonald’s Chicken Selects Premium Breast Strips

So yeah. The Foodette has officially branched off into a good food, bad food roulette-style blog. Patricia will be showing you the right way to eat, and I will be boldly stepping off into the intrepid “not” section.

My dad brought me McDonald’s today, a rare treat. People will laugh. I will get fatty jokes, probably from malicious exes, but I do not care. I lost fifteen pounds and sprinted today, trying to catch a runaway Bichon, ergo, I deserved it.

So he brought me the five-piece Chicken Selects, which, ironically, I had just read about as one of the top five worst items to order at Mickey D’s. Mmmmm. Coronaries. So tasty. So the McAwesome boasts a whopping 660 calories, 40 grams of fat, and 1680 grams of sodium. It’s a lot to handle, especially coupled with the archetypal- ha ha, arch? Like the golden arches? Fuck it. Coupled with the NORMAL combo of fries and a Coke, or whatever your liquid poison may be, it’s a lot of calories.

I ate the entire box. I was starving. It was also the first thing I’d eaten today, but hey, I don’t need to defend myself. The chicken itself comes with a variety of dipping sauces. A good choice on the part of McDonald’s, because the chicken can tend to be a bit dry.

I don’t know if it’s my KFC or the chain in general, but their chicken is odious. It’s basically batter around gristle. Not this chicken, though. While it’s not Lenny and Joe’s, a review which I must do with gumption, as it is the best chicken ever. Maybe a trip with Patricia? While it’s not theirs, it falls in a pretty solid middle category. The breading is lightly flavored with black pepper, and needs no salt. The sauces- buffalo, ranch, honey mustard, and barbecue- are all solid, good sauces that do well with the chicken.

Texture-wise, this is no McNugget. McDonald’s isn’t fucking with you here, because there’s no guessing as to where the meat comes from. It’s a meatier texture than the Nugget, which had that greasy, softer texture we all knew and enjoyed, but in return, is less greasy. In fact, it’s not very greasy at all. More of a dry breading than anything else.

The pieces are quite large. A good four, five bites apiece. I like them. Three pieces is very filling, five makes a meal. I wouldn’t eat it too often, but it’s too tasty to pass up when you just can’t have homemade fried chicken. For a mass produced place, this chicken is good.

It runs a little steep- six bucks for a meal, but it’s a good value.
7/10- TASTY

Newman’s Own Organics Hi-Protein Pretzels

These were very tasty pretzels. There was a nice amount of salt on them and they were very crispy-crunchy and easy to eat. The taste, though, reminded me, for some reason, like less of a pretzel and more of a cracker-y taste. They reminded me of Toppers, those cracker-pretzel bisecting things.

The pretzels are nice and tiny, and unlike most pretzel brands, do not stab the roof of your mouth with salty and painful delight. The crunch is crispy, but soft. I like these a lot. Another really positive aspect of these was that the high protein made them extremely filling. You don’t have to eat a lot of these to feel full, and there’s no grainy or icky protein taste. Nobody would notice that these are rich in protein- five grams per serving! if you didn’t tell them.

If Newman’s Own Organics took a more flavored approach to these, like with the salt and pepper of their rounds, or like Twisted Grandma’s, with garlic butter or spicy flavors, I may be more inclined to buy them in stores. But they are really tasty.
7/10- YUMMY

SNACKDOWN: Newman’s Own Organics Fat-Free Fig Newmans vs. Newman’s Own Organics Low-Fat Fig Newmans

Image Copyright SnackFace

Sometimes, it would do a Foodette well to listen to the advice of her readers. In this case, a new reader, Rosa, begged and pleaded with me for my life’s sake in the upcoming event of a Snackdown, this one, between Newman’s Own Organics Fat-Free Fig Newmans and the Low-Fat Fig Newmans.

I opened the fat-free FN’s. They smelled okay. I sniffed them again. And then I tried to take one out, and all the crust fell off it.

I bit into this, and it glued to the roof of my mouth. When I finally did unearth it, the crust was flavorless, and the middle was like a gelatinous, gluey Jell-o type texture, with an aftertaste that lingered in my mouth for about ten minutes of fermented raisins.

I did not like this. If you need a fat-free cookie, there’s no need to torture yourself. Newman’s Own Organics is an amazing company, but these were just awful.

1/10- HORRIBLE

The Low-Fat Fig Newman fared much better. It was like a gourmet Fig Newton, a little thicker, and none of that gelatinous texture of the fat-free. The cookies did not stick together, and the crust was buttery. There was no aftertaste.

The texture of these was much better. I could tell the difference between these two in an instant. I personally loved the low-fat ones, and recommend them for people with kids or people who love Fig Newtons. They’re better. Not my favorite, as I am a chocolate aficionado, but I like the less pedestrian idea of incorporating figs into cookies. It’s good.

Another really sweet aspect of the entire Newman’s Own Organic line is the little stories they put on the back of the packages. I really enjoy reading this, and hope they continue to incorporate these into their future packages and products.

You can find these at many stores around the country. One important thing to know, though, is that Newman’s Own Organics is a different subsidary than Newman’s Own!
7/10- VERY GOOD

WINNER: LOW-FAT FIG NEWMANS

Newman’s Own Organics Hint O’ Mint Newman-O’s


I tried these, and they’re definitely as good as, if not better, than Oreos.

I am not a mint person, really, not when peanut butter or more chocolate can be had, but I did try the “Mint and Creme” Oreos, and these are such a breath of fresh air from that gelatinous mess.

The cookie is a delicious chocolate, with the perfect balance of minty cream filling. Nothing green in here, just pure mint extract. The cookies were crunchy and had the perfect amount of filling. And these were some thick cookies! Almost the thickness of a Double Stuf Oreo.

I liked these. I’m not sure if I’d buy them again, but they were very tasty and balanced well.

7/10- VERY GOOD

Skinny Cow Ice Cream Bonanza

It’s almost time for some hot-weather treats, and this week, the thermostat got up to 77, so my mom broke down and bought that fabled of summer treats, ice cream.

She’s not the kind to get Ben and Jerry’s or, you know, the good stuff, as we grumble, but to her credit, she does bring back new things.

So last week, she sniffed out two new treats at the grocery store, from the Skinny Cow brand.

The Skinny Cow brand boasts one of the creepiest mascots I’ve ever seen, one that looks straight out of a Furry culture wet dream, a slender, dare I say, sexy bovine with a seductively wrapped in a dress measuring ruler to show you all how skinny she is, GASP JUST BY EATING ICE CREAM.

So I was intrigued and decided to try these out for myself.

Skinny Cow Chocolate Peanut Butter Ice Cream Sandwiches. All right, let’s get one thing clear. These do not look like the lovely stock photo. No ice cream you will see, especially a mass-produced one, will look like the photo, with over half the damned thing being peanut butter. Not if it’s low fat.

However, for the customer to accurately judge whether or not they do want to purchase these, they’re in a lovely see-through container. No surprises here, folks.

The ice cream is rich, a little watery at times, but consistent, and I could taste the peanut butter and the chocolate blending very well together. The sandwich is like all ice cream sandwiches- it sticks to your fingers like envelope glue and forces you to develop a layer of chocolate skin by the end of the sandwich.

Not a bad treat, folks. Six to a pack, they go very fast.

7/10- NOT BAD

The next treat I tried by Skinny Cow was their Skinny Dippers, in French Vanilla and Caramel flavors. Sub-par at best, with the mockolate coating chipping off and melting on my keyboard…is it the PPC or the bad chocolate?

The caramel wasn’t a great flavor, just the tiniest hint of a buttery taste, and the vanilla was watery and had the consistency of a popsicle, that’s how much water was in it.

Yucky.

3/10- GROSS

Doritos Spicy Sweet Chili

Image Copyright Frito Lay

I really do enjoy tortilla chips, and Doritos are no exception. This flavor is pretty interesting, definitely deviating off the standard Cooler Ranch and Nacho Cheese flavors they tend to employ.

The scent is great and really pungent when the bag is opened. These Doritos really do taste like chili, and have a nice tang and paprika-like taste to them. As always, they’re crunchy and very tasty.

I never quite agree with the number of chips in the bag, though. It never seems like there are enough. Probably because they’re so good, but I digress. The flavoring is another thing. A few years back, they had a really excellent spicy, spicy flavor with TONS of powder. They were just doused with the stuff. And those were spicy, too. This is “spices” but not “spicy”. I wish Frito Lay would skimp less on the flavor powder.

7/10- QUITE GOOD

Boulder Canyon Spinach and Artichoke Chips

Image copyright Boulder Canyon Foods

It’s the first time for me to try these chips, and I’m very excited, since I’ve been eying them since yesterday’s corn chip scandal.

The aroma is very strong and impeccable, like a dip in itself, but the overlying smell is cooked potato and olive oil, like an Italian restaurant.

I fell in love with these chips during my freshman year when the Parmesan and Garlic flavor inexplicably turned up in the vending machines, even though I’m not a huge fan of kettle chips.

These chips have a delicious crunch, very thick, and taste like the dip you’d get at Chili’s if you ordered a spinach and artichoke dip. They have the slightly earthy taste of spinach and the buttery dip taste. They’re very tasty. There’s even a creamy, sour cream-like taste to them. There are visible herbs on top of the chips to eat, and I tasted a strong basil hint in some of mine.

I’d eat these again, but since I’m not a big fan of kettle chips and prefer more powder as opposed to the more oil-based flavor these have.

7/10- PRETTY TASTY