Student Life at the Dawn of the Millennium, people. Sometimes I swear that it gets harder and harder each day. It leads to vice, the small, justifiable kind like eating cookies long before most people are awake, or long after they’re at work. Alone. In sweatpants. The sole unwashed pair in a sea of clean laundry. Citing briefs in my briefs. It’s a beautiful life. I’d like to pat myself on the back for both tracking down these cookies and successfully calling over 30 Walmarts in Connecticut without an ounce of self-loathing. It turns out that merely asking (okay, begging) the public relations team will yield cookies, albeit 24 hours after considering driving to Topeka, Nowhere to see if their Dollar General has them. Continue reading “Ritz Cheese Sandwiches Camembert and Black Pepper, Cheddar and Almond”
After flubbing an important interview, woozily breaking a juice fast in preparation for those interviews, and ditching the gym in the name of Holy Netflix, all to Clay Aiken’s breakaway album, “Measure of a Man,” coming home to soda-flavored corn chips was an oddly perfect consolation prize for my future career of sofa-wrangling beast. And of course, the internet has already found them, ordered them, had them shipped express, and devoured them for the world to see. Better late than never, amirite? Continue reading “Mountain Dew Cheetos”
I am a member of the Collective Bias® Social Fabric® Community. This shop has been compensated as part of a social shopper amplification for Collective Bias and its advertiser. All opinions are honest and are my own. Come on- you know these hot pants aren’t going to finance themselves. We’re not exactly sports people. Don’t get me wrong, we’re active, but with all the other activities we have going on, sports get pushed by the wayside, along with video games and hot dog eating contests. It’s not killing us. Where’s my weakness? Football food. The real travesty here is that football watching, one of nature’s most exerting activities, almost as physically stressful as the game itself, is party to a delicious combination of flavors– the lauded buffalo, the ever-reliable trope of things deep-fried in sandwich form, various iterations of cream cheese and graham crackers, and an inexplicable need to slather beer on everything and pretend it still tastes decent. Continue reading “#shop Sage Caprese Pizza Crostini”
As luck would have it, in the middle of my miniature kitchen renovation, my landlord decided to start doing work on the rest of our apartments. Add the stress of moot court and the ensuing deep-set depression of first semester grades, and you’ve got a recipe for no recipes. Specifically, a lack of desire to cook so deep that it makes Lean Cuisine meals look like a suicide hotline. Thankfully, Blue Apron, a food delivery and cooking service, stepped in to soothe the soul-crushing workload of ten hours and a brief before my first round of job interviews.
Happy New Year.
Why are there so many new people at the gym?They think that I don’t know that they’re new. They think they’ll blend in to the circuit of toothy, muscular guys, wafer-thin co-eds, children who don’t know how elliptical machines work, and me. They think they’ll leave the weights at the lowest setting, or gab at the new, stupid-looking CrossFit station by the water fountain, or loiter near the hot tubs as if their decision to go in hinges upon a great, existential issue intent on irritating me, and change all the channels from the vastly superior Food Network to something horrible, like A&E.
What’s the next holiday? Houseplant Appreciation Day? Fuck that. I’m bad at holidays. The holiday that I am the worst at is Valentine’s Day. This is because I am not a twee blogger. I am not the type of person to create a clever, heart-themed meal for my DGNP (dear gender-neutral partner) or frost a perfectly color-coordinated cake in my footprint-sized kitchen. For the last three Valentine’s Days celebrated, I have, in reverse chronological order, sent a Gucci scarf overseas that never arrived, gone to a convention, and dated a guy. Woof, man. This year, I expect to do fairly well. I’m going to a job fair. But it won’t be so terrible, because there is no way I can do as poorly as these Red Velvet M&M’s. Continue reading “Red Velvet M&M’s”
I’m experiencing a strange, Twilight Zone-like state of mind where I want strange, unattainable things, like a job and the ability to self-motivate before 9AM. Oh, look at that. Sorry, before 12PM. This eating-writing-renovating-binge-Community-watching habit is very, very fun, but I’m just about ready to get back to my daily schedule of heavy textbook lifting. This semester’s winner is the 2013-2014 Federal Income Tax Codes and Regulations, clocking in at 15.2 lbs, or a total of $2,500 in non-deductible therapeutic massages over the course of three months. Wow!
Instead of working, or working out, or working in, or twerking, I’m applying to fellowships in sunny, snow-free places, and eating frozen Indian food in bed. Is break over yet? Thankfully, my house does have a new amenity that has been a blast to play with over break- a new coffee station! I’m in the midst of doing a basic, but life-saving kitchen renovation, the kind that doesn’t violate the lease but still allows me to remain sane without benzodiazepines. One of the aspects of this renovation involves a heightened focus on coffee, under the hopeful guise of being able to retain a semblance of consciousness during my 8AM moot court class. The Bedfellow contributed a grinder, and I went on the hunt for some killer coffee beans. One of the brands I found was 1000 Faces, and they sent over a few bags of beans for our groggy perusal. Continue reading “1000 Faces Suke Quto Coffee”
We’re finally back from our trip, and are hunkering down in a lame, slightly inconvenient snowstorm. In two days, we drove from Hartford, to Rockport, to Portland, to Manchester, and back again. Continue reading “Little BIGS, Portland, ME”
Happy almost-New Year! We decided to take an impromptu trip to Portland today to capitalize on the television vacation idea we had last week, and are now clutching our stomachs on the bed in sheer, saturated bliss. Continue reading “Duckfat, Portland, ME”
I am a member of the Collective Bias® Social Fabric® Community. This shop has been compensated as part of a social shopper amplification for Collective Bias and its advertiser. Yay! This means I get to pay off .002% of my student loans! Continue reading “#Ad Grilled Cheese Corn Dogs”