Welch’s 100% White Grape Juice

Compared to the red grape juice of yesterday’s post, this juice was much better.

It’s a nice, white grape juice, and tastes very, very sweet. Much sweeter than the red grape, but still tasty. For some reason, I didn’t get as much syrupy flavor as with the red, but would have diluted it anyhow. It was a tasty juice.

A little bottle is enough for me when it’s that syrupy anyhow. It was thick, but seemed to get better as it chilled in the freezer. Welch’s makes a damned fine juice, but I think I’m going to stick to the lite kind for now. I’ve been raised to its standard. Curse you, diet kings and queens!

6/10- GOOD

Welch’s 100% Grape Juice

My mother buys lite juices, so I was not prepared for the flavor and taste of this. I’ve been drinking a lot of powdered “single” drink mixes, like Crystal Light and such.

The drink is a dark, deep purple. It’s a really syrupy texture, which I didn’t like. It was sent to me as part of a wonderful little promotional package of Welch’s Juice, along with a tote bag, a pen, a magnet, and three other bottles of juice, with a selection of white and red grape. Very generous!

The flavor was unmistakably 100% grape, and it was a very good grapey taste. Heavy grape aroma, too. I don’t know. The juice was good, much better cold than warm, but it just tasted a lot like Dimetapp cough medicine, with that syrupy texture. In the future, if I have this again, I’ll either buy the “lite” version or dilute this a little. I was just turned off by the texture.

3/10- ICKY

Monster Energy Drink

Monster energy drink, my friend always said, tastes like robot piss.

Okay, so she wasn’t too far off the mark, but I’d never tried a Monster. First sip, it’s lightly carbonated, with big bubbles, and it has that lovely, fruity, chemical taste to it. I’m being sarcastic, of course, but it gets better.

The color is different than what I expected. It’s not bright green, but a light pinkish color, which is nice, and the taste gets a little better as you sip. It’s a fruity flavor, pretty fake, but it kept me awake.

I wish it was a different flavor, because that Windex-y taste seems to be the quintessential taste of energy drinks, and I feel like I’m gulping down medicine rather than a beverage.

3/10- LAME

Burger King Iced Mocha

I bought this in its only size, a medium, today.

The cup is strange. It’s very slender and rather thick, and the straw has a very large diameter, more appropriately suited for bubble tea or milkshake.

This drink was lukewarm. I thought it would have more ice than it did, as there is a specific little line on the cup for where to fill it with ice. It had no chocolate swirl like the photo showed or barely any chocolate flavoring. Come to think of it, it barely had any coffee flavoring. It was basically lukewarm whole milk with a twinge of brown dye, coffee extract and chocolate scent.

This was an awful drink. If I get a mocha anything, I’ll stick to Starbucks, because their mochas are just supreme.

1/10- GROSS

Iceland Pure Spring Water

Couldn’t find a picture of this, so you’ll just have to make do.

This is good water. I never see the point of drinking different waters, aside from Voss, which is funny because I had a friend who used to throw Voss and Baby Voss water bottles at his theatre teacher’s head, but I digress. I don’t like paying lots of money for water bottled at other places when Poland Spring is fine.

This water was all right. It wasn’t anything special, but it wasn’t gross with additives or yucky substances, it was just…water. I usually put little drink packets in mine anyway, so there’s no real problem with it.

The bottle is pretty. It looks like the Fiji bottles, with a waterfall scene that’s magnified by the water and small when the water is gone and the bottle is nice and tall.

4/10- OKAY

Burger King Orange Icee


It’s certainly been a while since I’ve had an Icee, but for 1.00 for twelve ounces, how could I pass it up?

It was an orange Icee, with that creamy slush-style that we’re all accustomed to. Not my favorite- I prefer a Slush Puppy style, chipped ice and syrup drink, but we can’t all have what we want.

However, I was pleasantly surprised to sip this and taste not orange, but my favorite soda of all time- Stew Leonard’s Orange Cream, which I’ll soon be doing a review on. I had no idea this was dreamsicle flavored!

The ice wasn’t consistently textured. Sometimes, little blobs, like Dippin’ Dots, of ice came up in the straw. Interesting, at the least. But the flavor was tasty and not burning-sugary.

6/10- TASTY

eRev Obscene Energy Pack

Food and I went out late last night and bought these drinks at a 7-11 for a buck apiece. We were intrigued because they were marketed as obscene. I didn’t know how to feel about drinking an obscenely flavored beverage, but was nonetheless piqued.

We bought four flavors- original, sugar-free, grape, and orange.

We soon figured out why it was a buck apiece. The original tasted like boiled and liquified candy necklaces with bitter, bitter aftertastes to them. Food did not feel like a T-Rex as we thought he would after drinking the obscenely flavored drink.

Sugar-free was the same. Same bite, more chemicals.

Grape was the biggest personal disappointment for me, because I was almost one hundred percent sure that it would taste just like my favorite discontinued soda, Mountain Dew Pitch Black and PB II. It just tasted like gross Fanta with chemically tastes to it. Huge failure.

Orange was surprisingly good, tasted almost like tangerines, fresh taste to it. Still that energy drink taste, but it was almost perfectly masked by the fresh orange taste.

These were a dollar for a reason. I couldn’t see myself getting addicted to them like SoBe or Arizona juices, even though they were cheap and tasty. The aftertaste was too gross to get hooked onto.

4/10- GROSS

Yoo-Hoo Chocolate Beverage

Image Copyright Cadbury-Schweppes

See, I like Yoo-Hoo, but you have to drink it the way they ask you to. No Yoo-Hoo anarchy here. If you decide to fight the man and eschew the system, you end up with a watery half drink, an average rest, and a chalky, quasi-chocolate goo-powder at the bottom.


But if you shake it…shake it good, like a Polaroid picture or like a crying baby…too soon? If you shake if well, it’s heavenly. Severely delicious.

It might take people a while to get used to the whole “chocolate drink” as opposed to the “chocolate milk” thing, but I think it’s vastly superior. Nothing compares to a good chocolate milk, but if you can’t have that, this is the next best thing.