Fudgenmore’s Bakery Treats

Oh my god, this review is so overdue. I feel awful for letting it go so far, but here it is. Hopefully the baker, a wonderful lady out of Beaver Dam, isn’t upset!

So in the mail, I got two amazing treats. I got some white chocolate pretzel rods and turtle fudge. They came wrapped adorably in a nice little package, with tags on them.

I opened up the pretzels first. She told me her kids made them, and I’m writing a little shout out here to apologize for taking samples. Buying these pretzels from her kids is awesome, because they get all the profits from whatever sales they make, so to the kids- sorry for taking revenue! Please don’t break my kneecaps.

The combination of white chocolate and pretzels is a dazzling one. The size and girth of these rods- giggle all you want- was a perfect canvas for these pretzels. The half dip mingled perfectly with the salty crunch of the pretzels, leaving a taste that was neither too sweet or too salty. I think that one of the nice things about white chocolate is that it has a very soft texture, so it doesn’t break off into brittle bits and it melts very smoothly.

9/10- DELIGHTFUL

The turtle fudge was next. Boy, was it tasty. It was a nice, dense fudge with a thick ribbon of caramel running through the middle, with pecans on the bottom.

This was a very soft fudge, as opposed to the more thick, chewy ones I’ve had in the past. I’ve almost preferred it to the others, as it was a nice chew to stick my teeth into. The chocolate flavor was very pronounced, and the caramel was quite buttery. I could feel the different layers on my teeth as I bit into each piece.

If there was one flaw with this, it would be that the sheer size and lumpiness of the pecans just dominated this. It’s as though the entire bottom was covered with them. I loved the taste, but at times, they just detracted from the overall soft and gooiness of the fudge. I’d have preferred chopped pecans, sprinkled throughout the fudge for a crunch. Instead, they just sunk to the bottom.

The turtle fudge was excellent, though. Fudgenmore makes many different flavors of fudge with an ample amount of goodies inside.

8/10- YUMMY

Fudgenmore
www.fudgenmore.etsy.com

Tine Temptation’s Treats

I got a lovely sampler package from Tine Temptations, an independently owned store out of Chicago.

The package was very tastefully designed, with little spotted bows and pink and black logo stickers. It was adorable. Melissa, the owner and baker, assured me that this was not her normal packaging, but that she minimized to save space and w2eight on shipping, a move I appreciated, as she paid for shipping, too.

She sent in the package, two chocolate and peanut butter pretzel bites and her famous cinnamon bun cookies.

The cinnamon bun cookies were really, really soft, but had a delicious grainy texture to them that I can’t quite find the source of. They definitely tasted just like a cinnamon bun. The swirls of cinnamon sugar pop in your mouth and are aesthetically beautiful to see on the cookie itself. I put a few bits of this in the microwave and got a real treat.

Oddly enough, there was a coconut flavor to these that worked really well. They tasted like a Samoa with this. I just can’t tell where it’s from. Coconut oil? Coconut in the flavoring? Whatever it was, it’s a winner.

8/10- DELICIOUS

The chocolate peanut butter pretzel bites were cute little treats with a peanut butter and chocolate coating on top of them. They were drizzled with alternating flavors, a feature that I loved.

The pretzels were a little too hard for me, I think that might have been in their aspect. The coating was also slightly thin, but was rich and coated entirely.

Taste-wise, they were a yummy treat, but just a little too dry for me. The chocolate definitely added well to the moisturizing aspect and the peanut butter was tasty, too. I think these would be wonderful with those peanut butter filled pretzels, like from Trader Joe’s, but I’m not the baker…

5/10- OKAY

Tine Temptations can be found at Etsy.com, at her store. She’s a great seller and very accommodating in what she makes for customers. Her treats are original and very tasty.

Tine Temptations
Chicago, Illinois

Oh Fudge! Dark Chocolate Fudge

That happens to be a picture of her black forest fudge, because I do not have a camera…

This is a package from an Etsy seller, Oh Fudge! online. She’s out of Kent, Washington, and makes delicious fudge!

I got a package from her today, of new newly debuted dark chocolate fudge. Half a pound! A very generous sample for this Foodette. Upon opening the box, I was presented with a dense, dark brown fudge, a little darker than the standard chocolate you see in stores.

One of the interesting things she uses, and I personally love it when this is an ingredient, is marshmallow cream. A lot of recipes call for corn syrup or condensed milk, but I find that the marshmallow cream gives a really smooth, not grainy, and sweet texture. Like eating a really chocolatey s’more.

Well, this fudge was no exception. It was a dense, but smooth and rich fudge. It cut like butter from the package. It tasted less like dark chocolate than semi-sweet, but was definitely distinguishable from milk chocolate fudge in the intensity of the flavor. The chocolate had a bold pop in your mouth, with the sweet, creamy marshmallow taste following up.

This is an excellent fudge for dark chocolate lovers, and at a very reasonable price, too. Check out Margaret’s shop here. You will not be disappointed.

Oh Fudge!
Kent, Washington
http://www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=5755041

9/10- EXCEPTIONAL

A bevy of Fruit-By-The-Foots…

Holy hell! I’ve just consumed 9 feet of candy!

Of course, it was in the Fruit by the Foot version…it’s so delicious…I got it from the cupboard on a whim, in three flavors to review: Tropical, Tie-Dye Berry, and Tie-Dye.

The Tie-Dye flavor is a sweet and mellow taste, colored and flavored predominantly with orange, lemon, and lime. It’s a standard candy classic, very tasty, and it seems to be cut in a cloud or paw print shape so you can pull it apart.

The Tie-Dye Berry flavor is a much stronger taste, with cherry, and raspberry flavors, as well as a stronger color scheme of purples, reds, and blues. This was the coveted of flavors, always the one to go first in the lunchboxes. Although there’s a zipper pattern on it, presumably to pull it apart and share with friends, nobody in the 4th grade wanted to share this one. Everyone was jealous of this kid, yes, even you. Unless you were that kid, in which case, we say, you’re an asshole for not sharing. This is a good, solid candy, though, with a great taste.

I have to say, for novelty, this last one takes the prize. The Tropical flavor features a host of summer activities printed on its yellow skin, like an edible tapestry. Going down the three feet, I see treasure chests, paw prints, happy campers playing ball, apples, palm trees, steel bear traps, BEARS ATTACKING. It’s a summer hallucination extravaganza! The flavor is like a coconutty-pineapple tropical flavor. Yummy.

With all of these, it’s a nice, firmly-textured chew, a pretty long-lasting snack. These will always be a hit, for lunchboxes and cupboard everywhere.
8/10- DELICIOUS

Lifesavers Gummies

These are a pretty good gummy.

The flavors advertised were watermelon,

Watermelon actually tasted like watermelon. I wished it was like the little Jelly Belly beans where the inside was pink, but this was a refreshing-looking all green gummy. The taste was firm and watermelon-y, not artificial tasting at all.

Strawberry was the next flavor. It was a very mild strawberry flavor, almost a cherry-berry taste instead. This was an okay gummy.

I couldn’t tell the difference in color between red raspberry and cherry, but the cherry tasted exactly like the Luden’s cough drops from my childhood that I used to eat by the handful. Red raspberry wasn’t a special flavor at all, very mild. It just tasted like sugar.

The last flavor was supposed to be blackberry, and they hit the nail right on the head. It tasted like those old violet candies and left a really delicious jam-like aftertaste.

These are good gummies. Unfortunately, the packaging is so heavy that there isn’t much room for the snack. Still, a good and classic treat.

8/10- YUMMY

Peanut Butter M&M’s


These might sound a little pedestrian, but trust me, they’re a classic. I thought nothing could beat Crispy M&Ms, but here they are, the underdog.

It’s a shame, what with the M&M franchise, that the bigger the nut, the less candy in the bag, which is why I never get the almond ones anymore. Of course, these are just as good.

The M&M isn’t bigger, diameter-wise, than your average candy, but is much taller and peaked at times, due to the little blobbette of peanut butter on the inside. It’s the same candy shell, same colors, and the peanut butter is good. It’s not like Reese’s peanut butter cup, there’s no crumble, but that would be amazing, no? It’s not like a Reese’s Pieces taste, that peanut butter hard candy. It’s just in a class of its own. To liken it to anything, at its furthest form, would be to Lindt Peanut Butter, because it’s a ganache-style butter, quite tasty and salty.

These are just classically great candies. They’re my go-to when I just don’t feel like eating anything new. I just wish there were more to a bag, because they’re addictive as hell.

9/10- AMAZING

Judson-Atkinson Bunny Mallows

Image Copyright Judson-Atkinson Candies

I don’t know why I picked this up, but it was early in the morning, it was free, and it was from the bank.

I trust the bank with candy.

It was obviously an Easter leftover. They had Tootsie Rolls, too, and I could have reviewed those, but nooooo, I wanted to do something interesting for the sake of the blooooog.

You people fucking owe me.

I brought it home. I stared at the bunny. He stared at me.

I ate him, fully expecting him to be exactly what he was advertised as- a marshmallow, giving some liberty for hardness as it was after Easter, but instead, I was treated to the cotton-candy flavor equivalent of fucking heroin injected into my tongue. This was definitely liquefied cotton candy. I can taste the Red Lake #9.

No go, Judson-Atkinson. I want free stuff.

1/10- GROSS

Starbursts Extravaganza: FaveRed Fruits Chews and Sour Gummibursts

These are funky. I found these two flavors for two for $1.69 apiece.

The sour gummies are heavily advertised, especially during the hours I watch TV, it seems. There are supposed to be four flavors in the bag, and it looks like I managed to bag all of them. In the package there are ten gummies, each about the size of a quarter.

They’re advertised with strawberry, watermelon, orange tangerine, and green apple. They’re a harder gummy, with a slightly pasty outer flavor. There’s a definite aftertaste in the green apple. The liquid is not very sour. My guest reviewer, The Food to my Foodette, and I have high tolerance to sour things, so we didn’t think these were really shocking.

The strawberry tastes just like a Twizzler…same sandy outer texture, same funky aftertaste, almost bitter, with a nice reddish color.

I was most excited to try the orange tangerine flavor, and was happy to discover that it did have a distinct orange taste, but there was something off about it, with a taste that I can only unfortunately liken to the exact flavor of ramen noodles and floor cleaner.

The watermelon was the standard for all watermelon flavored candies, tasted like artificial colors and flavoring. Not much of an aftertaste on this one, but very pasty. I decided that I didn’t like the texture of these after all.

3/10- APPALLING


I generally like Starbursts chews to their other little bastardizations, so I figured these would be good. It came with four flavors- strawberry, watermelon, fruit punch, and cherry. Felt like they didn’t come up with new flavors but took their leftover one-hit wonders with some of their standards and came up with the crappiest of candy mix tapes.

The Food thought the strawberry didn’t taste like strawberry. Neither did I. It tasted less like strawberry and more like a differently packaged watermelon-flavored burst.

The cherry was the standard cherry Starburst, which I really like, because it’s got that creamy taste to it that’s not sour, but takes the acidic edge off the flavor. Same color, reddish cream.

Food didn’t like the fruit punch. It tasted really chemically, like drinking a sweet flavor of bug spray. It had acidic moments which really grossed me out. Not a fan.

Watermelon, Food and I agreed, tasted like watermelon in candy form. The standard. It was creamy, like drinking a watermelon drink. I like that the Starbursts maintain that creamy taste to them. It’s tasty.

5/10- EH.