The Foodette is eating a vaguely healthy treat! Sound the alarms! It’s not a Slurpee! My mother will have a heart attack! No, seriously, she’ll flip a shit and call me on my cell phone. But this post is in honor of a special event. I have to start eating healthy for a higher cause, and it’s not Jesus or macaroni and cheese or a new job.
It’s my new child, Oscar.
I bought a fish yesterday, or rather, I traded a sandwich for him, and no, it wasn’t tuna. And to take care of him, I have vowed to live a better life.
So, in honor of that, I am kicking off with a post on the lietastic lies of Kellogg’s Special K Fruit Crisps. They’re all well and good, but they’re missing one specific ingredient, and I just don’t understand them. I checked the ingredient package over and over, and I couldn’t find Special K anywhere in the ingredients. I can’t tell what it’s for. I know that Kellogg’s uses the K, as we call it on the streets, as a dietary mechanism to “lose 6 pounds in two weeks!” and the like, but is it also their branding pet name, too?
Aside from that, these are not a bad snack. The box proclaims that there are ten in each package, but, of course, that just means that there are five packs with two crisps in each. I can’t stand that. The crisps themselves remind me of the Nature Valley granola bars, and they’re rather delicate, to the point of where I wouldn’t want to toss this in a lunchbag or backpack without worrying that it would be smooshed and crumbled by the time I opened it.
As for the eponymous “fruit crisp,” it’s a pretty appetizing name, evoking Aunt Betty’s blueberry crisp in August, or whatever. Obviously, this tastes nothing like that, but makes me crave that summer treat nonetheless. The fruit texture on the inside tastes like the overbaked fruit part of Betty’s crisp that gets just slightly gummy with the extra pectin, and is very chewy. It’s like Kellogg’s tried to bake a fruit snack inside an overly sugary shell and called it a day. They weren’t inedible, but the shell is too crunchy and far too sugary, and the frosting is the coup de grace for your teeth’s eventual demise.
If I were making improvements to this, I would choose to make this closer to the family of an actual fruit crisp- with a more oat-based crust, no frosting, more molasses oriented flavors, and some whole grains. I loved the crispiness of the crust, and didn’t mind the texture of the fruit, but it was the artificial flavors that really took away from the tastes of the fruits and made both the strawberry and blueberry taste the same- very fake. It’s a shame these couldn’t have been improved upon. How are you eating healthily this year?