I don’t know about you, but “buffalo-style ranch chicken” is some of the most awkward phrasing I’ve ever encountered. To be honest, I was a little worried about trying this, too, once I discovered that the sauce wasn’t really hot sauce, but buffalo flavored ranch sauce. Can America not take the heat? Is chicken, bacon and ranch not good enough? Why do the scientists in the ranch industry never cease their endless lust for ranch permutations?And why are the kids in Hidden Valley, home of ranch itself, such little assholes?
These are the questions that force me out of bed at night when I just want to dream of international hedge funds and a possible mutual investment in Tastykake. Seriously. But back to this sandwich. It’s a good sized flatbread that comes with chicken pieces, cheese, and this sauce. Relatively simple.Oscar Mayer does not skimp on the meat with any of their products, and where I was filled with trepidation over the chicken, my fears were soon assuaged. It microwaves up nicely and cooks evenly, without getting rubbery or strange in the process. Covering it with cheese seals the deal, and honestly, this is the only sandwich I’ve had by them so far where the cheese plays a legitimate role in the overall composition. The Monterey Jack is smooth and tangy and makes nice strands when I took a bite.The sauce wasn’t terrible at all, to my surprise. On the flatbread, which was crispy at the edges and pillowy soft, like na’an, in the middle, it folded without breaking and the sauce soaked in well and didn’t really leak out. The ranch didn’t weaken it or make it less tasty, either, and I found myself appreciating the pairing, like having something to dip my wings in without the messiness of eating actual wings. The sauce had an adequate spiciness and blended well with the rest of the flavors, creating something interesting and delicious that I’d definitely get again.