Wise Jalapeño Cheddar Chips

I was peckish yesterday and after my excursion at C-Town with Swagger, was feeling like a little snack, so I picked up a bag of these Wise jalapeño cheddar potato chips. C-Town has a bigger selection of more interesting snacks, but I guess I was feeling a little pedestrian and wanted spicy food without the risk of lead poisoning.

These particular chips were pretty ballsy. They decorated the bag with peppers so you could see how serious they were. These chips weren’t flaking out, that shit was in your face like a can of mace, with the clip art and bas relief drawings of jalapeños. The delivery, though, the soliloquy that I so relied on from these chips, was entirely unsatisfactory.Upon opening the bag, I noticed that it was half empty, filled up to the cheese wedge graphic on the bag. If you were an optimist and a douchebag, you’d say, “It’s half full!” and I’d be forced to brutally sodomize you with a chili pepper. But there weren’t many chips crammed that far down, perhaps about twenty or so in the bag’s entirety. It was a bit of a rip off. But once I tasted them, I realized that I wasn’t missing very much at all. The chips themselves were a creamy orange color, with no specks of any belying pepper essence whatsoever.The flavor promised bold, exciting, risqué delights that would tantalize the palate and blow your fucking mind, but in all actuality, they tasted like regular cheese chips. They weren’t interesting at all, and they certainly weren’t spicy. They were standard, thin cut potato chips with a good crunch, but barely a spritz of what could have been a well executed flavor. I was disappointed and demanded more.

On a lighter note, though, Keepitcoming has deigned to drop in with some witticisms on my most recent posts, so keep an eye out for her delightful commentary, especially that on Soylent Green and Special K. It’s people! Huzzuh!

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