Lazy Cakes

I saw these in a gas store and had a mild seizure in front of the cigarillos and Clark Bars. Really? A brownie that makes you relax? With a creepy, Mr. Hanky-esque mascot on the front? From the website And a fake message warning me of future overusage of the word dude? This made my inner 14 year old squeal because drugs mean rebelling against the man, yo. They’re Lazy Cakes, a brand of “baked relaxation” bringing butthurt to Georgians everywhere and a new form of rohypnol to guidos up in the cluuuuuuub. To be fair, there’s no trace of drug references (overt, at least,) in these brownies. In fact, a simple check of the ingredients tells us that the relaxation elements are no more exotic than a holistic mother’s medicine cabinet: melatonin, rosehips, and velarian root. Two out of three of those are actually known for helping relax the brain- rose hip is mainly a healthy treat for chinchillas. So we’ve looked it over and there’s no weed in this feed, but is it good?

Luckily for Lazy Cakes, they’ve baked a brownie scientifically proven to interact pleasantly with my brownie taste preferences, according to the Foodette Scale of Brownie Baking Perfection, or the FSBBP. As I’ve said here and here, my brownies must be medium rare, halfway between raw and pudding-like, and these were no exception. They had a dense texture and a chocolatey flavor and were soft and squishy. Very nicely done. They felt a little better than a Little Debbie Snack cake, with none of that chewy weirdness, but doubtedly up to the level of a homemade brownie. There were no chemically aftertastes. But taste wasn’t the only factor. I was here for the side effects, baby.I don’t know whether this is a placebo effect or not, but I’m damned tired. Swagger made me dinner and I spent a lot of time laughing at Blades of Glory, but that was the only thing I really did today and I am absolutely beat. After eating this brownie, I had to concentrate to stay awake. I don’t know the amounts of chemicals in this, as the nutrition label does not specify the dosages, but it did its job as far as I can tell. I’d have to revise the FSBBP and do some tests with my trained lab mice to get better results, but Lazy Cakes were better than I originally anticipated them to be. Good luck entering them in a middle school science fair, though.

39 thoughts on “Lazy Cakes”

  1. That is an amazing product! Where do gas stations get this stuff? I have to find this. Ive been considering jumping into the new world of relaxation food and drinks.

  2. I found them at my local head shop on sale for $2.00. I’ll be trying them for the first time tonight. Drinking + Lazy Cakes = WIN? We’ll see. Thanks for the review.

  3. its different for everyone. i ate one for the first time yesterday after i had partaken in some other relaxing things… it was awesome

  4. Ate the whole thing, about 4 hours later i went to sleep later than usual, didnt feel a thing, then at about 9 the next day i got hit with what felt like the worst hangover of my life puking at work with my eyes looking like i had just been ko’d by mike tyson…….
    bought 2, gonna give it another run.

  5. I had one yesterday and i work third shift.. Ate it while i was doing some errands in the morning.. and came home to watch some TV next thing i new it was 9 oclock and i was on my way back to work.. woke up like WTH is going on.. Is it morning or night time? lol And i use other “relaxation” methods frequently and this lil brownie felt like taken a valium or something.. Felt calming.. but if ur looken’ for a brownie to get u bent.. This isnt the kinda brownies u should be buying.. make ur own =o)

  6. Yo I ate two of these and it worked a little but I t wasn’t like a space cake. Actually to be honest these suck don’t buy em.

  7. Really, it’s just hype-I heard about these, then today (4/27/2010) I randomly found them at a gas station-I bought 4

    I had 3 people eat them-me (a moderate pot-smoker), a friend (a bona-fide stoner), and another friend (a non-smoker)…the three of us agreed that the brownies had no effect

    I have one more for tomorrow morning when I’m not tired and I’m on an empty stomach, but I’m not optimistic about it

  8. Did not help me sleep. Tried at 9 pm, was still up at midnight. Very “drugged” feeling the next day. A girl friend of mine ate the other half, and she was asleep in about 25 minutes. Didn’t work for me, but did for her.

  9. these are crazy. tired one last night before bed. thought i was havin an acid flashback lol. then fell asleep and had craaaaaazy dreams haha. deff worth 3 bucks. haha NOT a placebo

  10. Wow the guy above nailed it, pun intended. Poopin like elaine vanhouwe in this mofo. They taste like burnt string beans tho, also chris posh just got subbed in.

  11. just legalize the real deal, seems more natural… but the brownies are cool, worked for me and before em i smoked everyday…havent in weeks!! Apparently pot-heads dont work… ive worked since 14 w/ parent permission mainly to go ‘relax’ my money away with friends…re-iterate just legalize it…for yourselves…you fascists can NEVER make me adhere to your ridiculous legislation…

    Bear McGillem

  12. Made me feel like I took a half a valium for .5 but I take 6mg of xanex daily quit smokin weed , so i say save ur $$, it didnt do anything 4 me,, they taste like dirt, I ate the whole ntownie to see if they would work…imma see if my in laws yorkie has affects when he eats 1..jk

  13. fabout to eat now….. I hope not to get sick. that would be nice. I’d rather not feel anything than get sick. I hope to have a good time and at least feel a little dazed and confused. Not expecting anything hardcore though. so i guess i’ll see what happens and hit this back.

    Love me some pot right now but to poor.

  14. As I’ve said on other posts with high volumes of comments, keep it copacetic, readers. Anti-semitic slurs and such will NOT be tolerated.

    Read and enjoy…and don’t eat TOO many Lazy Cakes!


  15. Ate half and had the other half later. Not one for nightmares but woke up in cold sweat. taste like chalk and counterfeit sugarless nesquick

  16. Eating these cakes made my feet feel like they weighed about 100lbs each. After about 30 minutes the sedative effect kicks in knocking me off my ass!! Lets just say I can take 4-6mg of xanex and be 100% functionable, so its definitely saying something about the cakes. My only complaint is after 6 hours of being knocked out, you wake up tired unable to fall back asleep.

  17. I drank a lot. Then ate three lazy cakes. Again, nothing big. At least for me. Just sleepy. If you want more info about lazy cakes. Google FDA lazy cakes. Don’t try them unless your over 21 or over. Check with your Doc 1st!! DONT BE STUPIB

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.