Avitae Caffeinated Water

Are you tired all the time?Do you sleep when you’re supposed to be doing awesome stuff?Well, kiss those biceps, baby- or what WILL be, because avitae can KILL SLEEP!You want this.

Let’s clear a few things up before we start the review. First off, HOLY SHIT, THAT’S A REAL WORD. I was about to lump it into my conglomerate of foor-related neologisms that are made up and usually trademarked for the sake of advertising. Notable examples include “cherimoya,” (African for “tap water”) and “sustainable.” But seeing a familiar nominative case, I dusted off my old Latin dictionary and discovered that avitae is a clever bastardization of the Latin word for life, vitae. Close. But no cigar.The incense cone shaped bottle provides as much caffeine as a can of diet soda and as much water as a regular bottle of Poland Spring. And for a buck and change, the added boost is worth the cost. Being adamantly sworn against the bulk of energy drinks, I found that I was both bereft of the lingering aftertaste of robot piss in my mouth and also quite alert and energized during my daily treadmill and my subsequent social activities.The best part about this is the aforementioned lack of bitterness. Because the only extra ingredient differentiating this from tap water is natural caffeine, there’s no additives to boost or discolor the flavor of the water in any way, thus eliminating the sour aftertaste from chemicals. This is just water, with no bells and whistles but for the caffeine. So I have the same general taste reaction to it as I do with most water- with absolutely no enthusiasm. But the added caffeine is a bonus and boosts my street cred versus showing up to the gym looking like a little girl with a can of Diet Coke. Epic win.

2 thoughts on “Avitae Caffeinated Water”

  1. hey ! interesting…i just bought this bottle today, but in the store it tasted exxxactly like water! amaazing ! wondering if it will actually work though.

    i wanted to see what others say about it first, apparently so far its pretty dang good ! (:

    uhm.. k. lol.

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