Archer Farms Greek-Inspired Thick-Cut Potato Chips

The geniuses at Industrial Snack and Magic have created yet another mind-morphing flavor of potato chip, brought to you by Target, to blow your mind and gently caress your tongue. And really, who wouldn’t want the vague flavors of a Greek gyro in a small, single-serving bag? Nazis, that’s who. And even they would warm up to the description of feta cheese and kalamata olives. It’s a veritable freaking medley, is what it is! Although we found these in miniature bags on clearance, they were perfectly fresh and crisp. Maybe snack bags of salad inspired chips just aren’t on kids’ radars outside of kids in UES schools.
In any case, these were eaten in the car, paired with a slice of leftover birthday cake and gummy rabbits. A most balanced pairing, one of my finest. Archer Farms is a professional at this strangely flavored potato chip racket, a riverboat snacker, if you will, and this happens to be one of their better flavors. While I’m not a fan of the ruffled texture, the flavor was fairly accurate for an ingredient rap list that included cheddar cheese and the ever-generic “spices”. It had the pleasantly unobtrusive tang of feta, and while it may not have completely evoked the crumbly, wet texture of the cheese, it certainly got its flavor down pat. The olives were a stretch. By stretch, I mean they were nonexistent. I suppose my tongue isn’t enough attuned to the nuances of olives to discern its specific provenance, but it tasted like the olives hopped the ship once they learned they weren’t going to garnish one of Giada De Laurentiis’s RI-GAAAAHT-AAAAH dinners and sent in vinegar as a replacement. Tangy cheese and…tangier condiment. Felt like I’d eaten the good bits of a salad.
Original though it was, some things were never meant to be potato chips, Greek food one of them. The flavors were present, but overshadowed by the potato chip itself in all its likeable yet greasy personality. The Guy Fieri of all snacks. Though I can’t help but wonder what a culinary trip around the globe would be in places where balut is the regional specialty. Knowing the companies behind them, they’d find a way to make even partially fertilized duck fetuses bland and overly salted. For 75 cents, this served its noble purpose as an interlude between meals, a brief distraction from the dining halls, but on any grander scale, it would just fall flat.

2 thoughts on “Archer Farms Greek-Inspired Thick-Cut Potato Chips”

  1. If there was an Archer Farms Balut Potato Chip, they would never have the chance to go on clearance. Because I would totally eat the shit out of those crispy fetal duckling bastards.

  2. Make-A-Wish should really be focusing on granting wishes for limited time potato chip flavors like this. Imagine the shit people would churn out.

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