Quick! Scream the first thing that reminds you of October out loud!
Was it Halloween? Was it? Was it?
You’re wrong! The correct answer was “snow.” More appropriately, metric asstons of it, in my backyard. And frankly, I’m tired of all of this anxiety over Halloween. I’m not even dressing up. I’ve decided to skip the entire affair, screw this Halloween noise, and go right ahead to the generic winter festivities that have popped up in town over night. You’d think New England would be used to these weatherly shenanigans by now, but here we are and here’s the new hot chocolate from McDonald’s.
Much like Martha Stewart and her stock portfolio, McDonald’s seems to have a pretty uncanny sense of timing. Why else would they release these blatantly wintry libations at the end of October? I sense a conspiracy theory for the 11 o’clock local news! Well, men, I’ve gone to McDonald’s and back in this freak blizzard, I’ve tasted their peppermint mocha hot chocolate, and I’ve heard the good word of the Lord himself, Mr. McDonald, and the word is this. This hot chocolate is fairly heinous.
While the regular McCafe hot chocolate is passable with a creamy consistency and “eh” chocolate flavor, this is not the best representation of winter. In fact, it’s freaking strange. I just
don’t see how throwing around mint and coffee automatically denotes winter in the world of advertising. Peanut butter hot chocolate? Chili hot chocolate? All flavors I can get behind. I consider myself a fairly adept Googler, and though my search terms tell me that peppermint-flavored objets around Christmas just for the hell of it are merely piggybacking off the popularity of the candy cane, it still ain’t right.
And that’s the case with this hot chocolate. No matter which way you swing it, certain flavors aren’t meant to be mixed together like some sort of nontoxic chemistry set. Those flavors include chocolate, coffee, and mint. If I were to make a diagram I’d begrudgingly admit that chocolate and mint go well together, as do chocolate and coffee, but the three together are unpalatable. In this particular beverage, all three flavors are fighting for top billing, with the bitterness from the coffee clashing horribly with the crisp, herbal flavors of the peppermint. There’s a reason why people don’t brush their teeth and then drink their coffee- it’s pretty gross. Unfortunately, that’s what this drink mimics to a t.