Angry Birds Fruit Gummies

Manual dexterity is not my strongest suit. My face catches flying objects better than my hands, or “trout” as I like to call them, do, and most of the time I try to fashion small bulbous garments for my arms so I can simply convince people that I don’t have fingers. It would make social interaction much easier.
I was surprised when I fell in love with Angry Birds last year because I didn’t expect to be good at it or enjoy it. Granted, it has the graphics and soundtrack of a more sophisticated episode of Tom and Jerry and the complexity of a four-piece puzzle, but damn it, I liked it. The marketing craze expanded a little beyond my level of caring, as I’m really not a member of the core demographic of Angry Birds feminine hygiene products or Angry Birds humidifier and filter sets, but when I saw these sweet Angry Birds gummies in a gas station, I figured my buck and a half would not be better spent elsewhere. Except on those 7-11 buffalo chicken Slurpees or whatever they’re hawking nowadays.
The Angry Birds gummies come in six flavors and colors representing the six primary characters in the game– red cherry basic birds, yellow lemon fast birds, green apple pigs, purple bomb birds, blue raspberry little birds, and strawberry big birds. The scent is generic but nostalgic, and reminds me less of gummy worms and bears than of the earthy, rich fruit snacks of my youth. The flavors range from sugary to spot-on, though after a while they all start to taste the same, and each gummy is carefully molded, although I did see a few creepy deformed characters.I WIIIIIIIIIIIIN.

Basically, for players of the game, it’s as entertaining and fun as eating Pokemon Kraft mac and cheese as a kid or having Power Ranger Eggo waffles for breakfast before school. The characters are appropriately colored and recognizable, a feature my compulsive mannerisms appreciate as it always wigged me out to see puce sharks or tangerine severed Scooby Doo heads in my lunch box at school.
While the flavors aren’t as subtle or complex as Bissinger’s bears, they have a good, meaty chew and don’t put you in an immediate sugar coma. They won’t replace my beloved Haribo Gold Bears, but made for an interesting change of pace. Fans of the game and fans of general adorable foodstuffs should check these out. They made for a fun photo shoot, too, with Dr. D’s iPad!

8 thoughts on “Angry Birds Fruit Gummies”

  1. Commenters have brought it to my attention that some language, which I have removed from this post, was hurtful and irrelevant to the review. I apologize for taking the joke too far, and I appreciate your candor.

    Thank you for reading,

    Jess

  2. I purchased a bag of Angry Birds gummies today at the store around 2:00 pm EST and out of the 10 people present in the house: no one liked them. In our opinion, they tasted like dish washer detergent. No matter what piece we ate it tasted like this.

    Did you experience this with your candy?

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *