MiO Energy Liquid Water Enhancer

Final exams bring out my most terrible habits. Despite lingering over the fact that the bulk of my exams were arbitrarily assigned at the end of the term, it led to a staunch examination of my vices when under pressure. Late-night snacking was a given, especially when the dining halls and wing delivery places were all open later. Incentive snacking also reared its sweet head. “I have twenty pages to paste together, so I think I’ll eat one M&M for every 200 coherent words I write.” Yeah, turns out M&M’s are the perfect snack to eat while watching Scarface on Netflix, too. The world is yours, but only if you finish this science report. Sigh. But by far, the worst crutch I developed was a dependency to energy drinks. I’ve never been the type to drink Monster or even Mountain Dew because both taste like bitter, overly sweet motor oil, but then I found out that some energy drinks were mixed with coffee or chocolate milk. Hey, I love coffee and chocolate milk, I think I’ll- why am I watching Food Network at 4 AM? It was dangerous. And kind of awesome.
Now that I’m done with finals I can slowly wean myself back to a non-caffeinated drink schedule and a normal bedtime of 10 PM, but not without one last hurrah. That’s right, MiO is at it again, replacing Sassy Gay Friend with non-porn star “Thunder” Dave Steinman to debut their new energy formulas, MiO Energy. Kraft sent me these two bottles to review fo’ free, but first, I need to clear something up. Thunder, are you a satire or are you a human? Either way, you look a little like Dale from Rescue Rangers. I want to punch you in the face and then go grab a beer. MiO Energy comes in two flavors, Mountain Dew Green Thunder and Black Cherry. Perfect for the holidays, if your wish list also includes no sex and an XBox. If you haven’t already tried MiO, the liquid water enhancer, check out my review here.
Both MiO Energy flavors are incredibly concentrated out of the bottle and smell very medicinal before mixed in water. Both have no sugar and 60 mg of caffeine per squirt, about as much as an 8 oz. mug of instant coffee. Green Thunder appears to be less of a citrus-inspired drink and more of an energy-flavored drink, and by “energy-flavored” I mean liquid Smarties and carbonated aspirin. And that’s basically what this one tastes like at first. It gets a little better after sitting for a while, and ends up tasting like fruit-flavored candies, but comes nowhere near having an actual fruity flavor. It’s the poor man’s Monster and the rich man’s Vault.
I much preferred the Black Cherry flavor. Despite having the stainability of a Sharpie, it has a much more floral, delicate flavor with a rich cherry flavor that masks the caffeine and doesn’t end up tasting like cough syrup. Like its noncaffeinated predecessor, it has a slightly viscous texture that later smooths out after mixing, and would taste good mixed with either juices or even another MiO flavor. It feels like a more thought-out, versatile flavor with the ability to add a fruity kick to whatever you’re drinking and is luscious and tangy.
MiO Energy isn’t supposed to be added to alcohol, but I can’t help but be curious about revamping the classic Red Bull and Coke with a few squirts of this red-eye style. I’m not sure if the Green Thunder would taste good with anything other than vodka, but the cherry could prove to be versatile in a number of situations involving booze. But mainly all-night gaming sessions and frat parties. MiO Energy is an interesting concept, but the twelve servings in the bottle only makes you roughly six water bottles or twelve glasses full of beverage. If you’re looking for small bursts of energy over a long period of time, it might be helpful, but won’t give you the same long stride as a 5-Hour Energy (138 mg/2 oz) or even a NOS (140 mg/8 oz) will. As always, I prefer MiO a hair stronger than the recommended serving size, so perhaps adjusting the dose will vary your mileage. Just make sure not to drink this in eveningwear.

12 thoughts on “MiO Energy Liquid Water Enhancer”

  1. My boss just brought this in to work yesterday and I had some. Of course, being a fat-body, I over-endulge. I probably put twice the recommended amount in my water bottle and I slammed it down (the green). It went down so easy, and had little to no bitterness as most energy drinks to (in my opinion). 30 minutes laster, I went jogging back for another few squirts into a fresh water bottle. It is what I imagine crack to be like. It did it’s job, kept me alert and on task. This morning I had two water bottles (likely 4 servings) instead of coffee and I feel great. I feel like just typing, typing, typing, typing, typing….

    This stuff is legit. The best No Calorie energy drink I’ve tasted thus far (and I’ve tried a lot).

    Big Man With Energy – Watch OUT!

    Jon P (Maryland)

  2. Omg i downed the whole bottle, not in water, just outta the squirt bottle and I got pretty messed up. This stuff is crazy

  3. LOOOOOOOOOOVE IT! my Co-workers call it my “crack” Yup, I’m addicted. My total drive time commute too and from work is 2 1/2 hours a day and a lil MIO goes a LOOOOOONG way after a 10 hour work day and that drive to look forward to! I make my own iced tea and add some of the Black Cherry to it, YUM. sometimes I need the carbonation so I squirt some in a 7-UP can, Black Cherry 7-UP? What more could you ask for?
    I’ve been drinking it for at least 4 months and haven’t had any negative side effects UNLESS I drink it on an empty stomach, then I get some cramping. ALL IN ALL I LOVE IT 🙂

  4. I picked up the Green bottle last week from the gas station in lieu of my normal 5hr energy drink ($4 for 12 servings vs $2 for one, might as well!). At the time I wondered why the black cherry display was empty where the green display was still completely full- found out shortly after why. The green is terrible! Stopped by another gas station to give the black cherry a try, and I’m glad I did. Every morning I grab a 16oz bottle of water and add just one squirt to the bottle (yes that’s less than recommended), and I’m kept going throughout the day by refilling my water bottle every hour or so with another small dose. This is SO much more economical than $2.39 Monster drinks I’d been downing before AND it has 0 calories. I’m a little worried that the large amount of red dye might kill my kidneys…but I figure 90% of everything on the planet is going to kill me at some point… this doesn’t seem like I’ll get there at any accelerated rate (as opposed to sugary sodas)

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