Planters Limited Edition Brittle Nut Medley

We baked way too many sweets today. You know that frenzy people get in around Christmas, the one that compels them to justify buying extravagant items they can’t afford and stupid things like Hickory Farms and Soap-on-a-Rope gift packs? Well, it’s also the one that, for one month out of the year, flips on the homing mechanism switch that whispers crafty thoughts in your ear while you sleep. “The more cookies you bake, the more people will love you,” and, “You’re only as gay as the quantity of rainbow sprinkles you can cram into your baked goods.” True story. As a result of this sudden urge to bake and make merry, merry love, we have four batches of cookies, most of which are cat-shaped gingerbread people. #futurecrazycatlady
During this bake-a-thon, I got a package from Planters, which I received from the UPS man in my smoking jacket while chewing on a log of cookie dough. Keeping it classy all the time, son. Inside the package were six new limited edition Planters nut flavors, one of which I almost baked into another batch of cookies because it’s so freaking delicious. That, my friends, is the terribly named Brittle Nut Medley, which isn’t so much a name as it is a description of its contents. Let’s break it down like it’s 1980. Brittle. Despite being literally the first word of the title, this only makes up for about 20% of the overall mix. It’s okay, I can deal because it smells awesome. If it were a perfume it would be Calvin Klein Legume. Nut. It’s nuts, but that’s not grammatically correct. Honey-roasted peanuts and cashews abound. Medley. Okay, so it’s a term I’m more inclined to associate with mashups of the soundtrack to Carousel, but it’s okay. That compromises the two wild cards of the bunch, pretzels and yogurt-covered raisins.
Overall, it’s a group that leans toward the candy side of nut mixes, but manages to not create multiple cavities after a handful or two. The pieces are solid and whole, one of the least messy trail mix-style snacks I’ve tried, and are just as pleasant eaten together or individually. The brittle is the star of the show, a pity as most of it is so weighty that it’s sunken down to the bottom. Nothing says “Merry Christmas” like digging through a can of nuts to grab delicious candy. Altruism is so 2011. The brittle comes in molar-sized pieces, ironically as it will be your molars that are attacked first, and is mixed throughout the medley. It carries a salty, vaguely sweet flavor as addictive as potato chips with a little brown sugar thrown in for kicks. Eaten with the salty pretzel rods, they’re a real treat. In fact, the little extras outshadow the nuts- the very crux of the snack itself. These are abundant and tasty, but I found the honey-roasting on the peanuts to be overkill in the sugar department. The neutrality of the cashews was refreshing after all the sweeter flavors.
The yogurt-covered raisins were surprisingly the only component of this snack that I was pretty ambivalent with. Normally I’d be excited about a snack that packs a ton of faux Raisinets in their mix, but these were basically flavorless and had a waxy, crumbly texture reeking of mockolate. I wished that these had imparted a more wintry flavor unto the mix, like spices or eggnog. Enjoyed with everything else, though, they were inoffensive and pleasant to munch on after a day of baking coo. All in all, a really good and creative mix to snack mindlessly on during A Christmas Story, or, if you’re awesome like me, American Psycho, on Christmas night. Go on and brush your shoulders off, Mr. Peanut. You deserved it.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *