Nutrex Research Muscle Infusion Black Vanilla Villain

Nutrex bills this as the best underground bodybuilding protein powder. Yeah, and the Vitamin Shoppe is all in Tyler Durden’s head. Aside from being the worst/most hilarious marketing campaign to hit the shelves- personally, I think “Nutrex Research” sounds more sinister at face value than “Muscle Infusion Black”, this stuff is clean. wpid-wp-1426514593246.jpeg25g’s in the blend, 130 calories, and seven different proteins, although they will not list those proteins. That is the extent of their evil genius, though, and it is one that goes well with fruit and deadlifts. The sole complaint? It smells awful. Like, stale gym locker awful. When mixed with liquid, the odor goes away immediately- it isn’t Cellucor’s cupcake and ass-kicking excitement, but don’t let it deter you from trying it out.wpid-wp-1426514536706.jpegI mean, look at that. This powder incorporates better than a Delaware filing clerk who has just received a fifty-year service award. The red cup clashes with her pink undertones, but for two cups of raspberries, three scoops of protein, i-Satori BioGro, whole milk yogurt, and a can of raspberry seltzer, it is smoother than Kenny G on a Slip ‘n’ Slide. With solely milk and water it also mixes well, with a Nesquik-like effect. Or Quik, if you’re still young and have your best years ahead of you.wpid-wp-1426514577560.jpegFrankly, this stuff is masquerading as a bad guy but is truly ridonkulous. Yeah, that’s right, 2007, I’m taking back the slang that  was never allowed to use as a teenager. Vanilla Villain, you are not fighting The Hulk, nor have you turned me into a super-villain, although I have woken up in the morning to piles of jewels and gold bars that I had not owned or claimed as taxable income before. (Results may vary.)

You are so secretly good, secretly basic and perfect that I didn’t even bother to take a photo of you in unchanged form. Be yourself, Vanilla Villain. Just do you.rating9

One thought on “Nutrex Research Muscle Infusion Black Vanilla Villain”

  1. Oh, Jess, with all these growth factors you ingest now we will have more of you. That is too lovely and generous of you.

    The name alone and the protein blend lead me to believe that this forms of crucial link in your raw food diet for all-natural muscle. I witnessed the bulk of the raw hulk the last time out in the Hamptons where the bikinis went slumming by flexing off the diving board covered in a Slip ‘n Slide that the personal shopper picked up while getting lost trying to find Bergdorf’s and ended up in Walmart’s by mistake. They said it really helped to build empathy as well as body.

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