Was I on a diet? Did it not include cookies? Believe me, I’ve been trying to resist the allure of processed foods, snacks, and generally comforting complex sugars, but in this case, SCREW THAT. Beast-flavored supplements have nothing on cookies. I have been wanting these for years. This is my Oreo Make-A-Wish except I didn’t have to have a terminal disease to get this in my belly. People, behold. One of the first non-Buzzfeed reviews of the Red Velvet Oreos, debuting in February for your Valentine binge.TL;DR: these are excellent. While the cookies aren’t explicitly advertised as double stuf, I’m pretty sure they are because they have a ton of filling in them. If the Birthday Cake Oreos had been discontinued, these would be the next best substitute. While they lack the whimsy of sprinkle-studded cream filling, there’s definitely a more powerful vanilla and milk note to the icing that mimics the birthday cake frosting. In good faith, I can’t say that it’s entirely evocative of cream cheese as it lacks that characteristic tang, but it approximates a bulk of the red velvet products on the market today, which typically also do not use cream cheese.It’s not a rumor! Unlike the fried chicken poultry-tease. Honestly, where the cookie shines is…the cookie. The red dye is brilliant and vibrant but lacks a bitter edge or odd candle-like undertone like other candies and treats with red artificial coloring, and has the base flavor of a Golden Oreo with a hint of cocoa, not unlike a real red velvet cake. Looking at the ingredients, there’s cocoa in here, so I appreciated that they didn’t cop out by just coloring the cookies red and calling it a day. Plus, they came in a red velvet bag. Fifty Shades of Grey has nothing on this.