Barsel Takis Zombie Nitro

Weirdly enough, this contains references to two of the things I hated most in college that compelled the masses- Humans vs. Zombies and nitrous oxide. The bag is deep and dark, with claw marks, topical references to the holiday, a zombie warning sign fresh out of the clearance bin at Spencer Gifts, and lots and lots o’ Photoshop veneer. Have the beloved Takis been taken over by zombies, perhaps former communications and graphic design majors with a lust for blood, brains, and jobs with fair pay? There’s a spooky Halloween for you. I’m not sure if these particular zombies revere the complex heat of habanero or the cooling, vitamin C rich benefits of cucumbers, but either way, it’s a unique flavor concept that kicks the pants off the Lay’s wasabi chips.rsz_dsc_0460HOLY BLUE LAKE 1, BATMAN. I mean, seriously, please adjust your television screen or the filter on your instagram. The scariest thing about these chips is the amount of food dye that will leach into your bloodstream just looking at them. They are bright green, almost bordering on teal, greener than the Guacamole Doritos, greener than most crayons in a 64 pack of Crayola, Shiny Shamrock included. Do they pack the punch of zombies? Unfortunately, no, they’re more like the benevolently rabid Ed tethered in the backyard at the end of Shaun of the Dead. They’re lurid, irritating, begging for death, and wholly innocuous, with a zip of fresh habanero at the onset and a lime-heavy cucumber fresh flavor that quickly dies down, leaving the most basic of bitches behind- corn chip.
DSC_0458As original of a flavor these are, these have the impression of the fifteenth Walter White at a costume party or a slant toward Milk Duds in your trick or treat basket– clever at first, then overwhelmingly lame. Happy Halloween, we’ll be watching David Lynch and fucking up our diets.rating5

2 thoughts on “Barsel Takis Zombie Nitro”

  1. I live in Lubbock Texas and I can’t find these Takis Zombies anywhere and me and my kids have been wanting to try these for a while now. Could you help me in finding a way to get my hands on these please

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