Trader Joe’s Speculoos Cookie Spread Dark Chocolate Bar

Don’t worry, I won’t complain too much, but I need to get this out in the open: the LSAT isn’t killing me, but it is kind of stressful. And, at risk of sounding somewhat stereotypical, sometimes the best medicine for stress is chocolate and a ton of alcohol. As having a stiff drink wouldn’t be good before the gym (I look drunk enough running on a treadmill when I’m sober) I opted for the former when Miss Love and I picked up this speculoos spread dark chocolate bar from Trader Joe’s today.
Speculoos is this year’s red velvet or last year’s cupcakes or 2010’s salted caramel. For those of you who don’t know, and I’m assuming that includes the Amish and diabetics, speculoos is like shortbread’s tanner, more exotic cousin from the Netherlands. It’s spicy and crunchy and is fairly simple to make and eat. And ever since people found out that flying Delta meant free Biscoff cookies, they’ve been going crazy for them. Personally, I only get Biscoff cookies when I’m flying Delta versus buying them in the grocery store because I feel like I’m being rewarded for dropping $500 on a flight crammed with babies and the morbidly obese, but since the debut of their new Biscoff spread, I’ve seen many a cupcake or cookie made with them.
This chocolate bar isn’t explicitly advertised as being made with Biscoff spread, but since Trader Joe’s sells popular brands under its own private labels, it isn’t necessary to be Scooby Doo to figure this mystery out. The bar is very smartly presented in a bright gold wrapper and navy blue outer liner. The dark chocolate coating on the bar is fairly thick and is molded beautifully. For a dollar candy bar, it’s glossy and crisp with a delicately textured grid on top and separates easily into six pieces with a good snap. The dark chocolate is woodsy and smooth and melts coolly on the tongue, if a little slowly. The filling is where this most shines. It has a thick, buttercream-like texture to it and a few basic spice notes– cinnamon, nutmeg, and cloves, were immediately present in the bite. It is a little greasy but doesn’t induce queasy feelings and has a slight crunchy grittiness from the cookie pieces embedded inside.
It’s quite tasty and isn’t afraid to be a little salty, but could have been more aggressive in flavor, as the dark chocolate was very powerful and thickly molded around the filling. In the end pieces, this tends to overwhelm the filling. Still, if I only had a dollar to buy a candy bar, this would win every time. Its quality far surpasses its price. I’ll have to stock up on my next visit to Trader Joe’s in case this disappears during the next financial quarter.

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