Dunkin’ Donuts Cookie Dough Iced Coffee

Oh, Dunkin’, you sly minx. What are you, the Ace of Cakes? Or rather, some yet-unnamed ice-cream themed show on the Food Network that a young, hell-destined executive is dreaming of as we speak. So many limited edition flavors! So many weird things! The donut sandwich seemed serendipitous, as if you’d finally caught wind of those odd concepts like trends and memes that the bakery scene so often misses, and the slew of red velvet could have been chalked up to the holidays. But now you’ve paired with old fling Baskin Robbins in the oddest juxtaposition to date: ice-cream flavored coffee, for people who like a little caffeine with their sugar. Mint chocolate chip, butter pecan, jamoca…all de rigueur.DSC_8532And this is cookie dough.

The short: this tastes, smells, and feels like a liquified Tootsie Roll.

DSC_8531The long: This comes with optional cream and sugar. Overkill. I was tempted to ask the server to just pour the cookie dough syrup in a cup and let me at it, knowing it would be a long, slow suicide by saccharine as my brain was slowly clouded over by high fructose corn syrup and fake butter flavoring. Instead, I compromised in diluting it, taking in the strangeness of pairing cookie dough ice cream-flavored syrup, coffee, sugar, and cream. Maybe it would be like an affogato. Spoiler alert, it was not. It is heavy on the chocolate, but in a very synthetic way, again, like a mockolate candy. The creaminess only adds to this strange effect, henceforth known as the Tootsie Reaction. The coffee plays second fiddle to the mishmash, coming in as a bitter end-note. As it dilutes, that flavor disappears. None of the egginess or buttery flavors are here, nor should they be.

I can’t tell where this falls, as it’s never explicitly mentioned whether it’s supposed to be cookie dough-flavored coffee, or Baskin Robbins cookie dough ice cream-flavored coffee. Either way, nobody wins.
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