FedEx, I don’t know what to say. You’ve disappointed me more than an orphaned elf on Christmas. Your friendly goon, bless his unknowing heart, dropped the package off at my front step. Today. It was marked ‘priority overnight.’ FedEx, I have been an overnight priority in the past, so needless to say, the fact that you have delayed my sugary booty call until Monday, at 9:10 in the morning, is nothing short of a deplorable, unAmerican act.
Fine. Anyway. I’m pretty sure the internet is discussing Oreos for Cats or Laverne Cox or Skittles Lays already, but I’m here with last week’s news, and you’re going to read it. Cookie Dough Oreos talk a big game. You can see it right there on the package. That is some straight up, Chips Ahoy trash talk there. After all, don’t they also have a large cookie and blue packaging? This takes those cookies and drops a lump of cookie dough on their cookie faces. It’s genius, really, to put chocolate cookies and cookie dough flavoring. Well, the concept works, at least. The creme, while still sugary, takes on that granulated, pleasantly diabetic texture we all know and love, with a more caramelized edge to it, a heavier brown sugar and…coffee?Alone, it doesn’t provide as much chocolate as a spoonful of real cookie dough would, but that’s what the chocolate cookies are for. They give the sweet filling some much-needed salinity. I’m so pleased that they kept the original cookies here rather than using Golden Oreos or something. It doesn’t quite get that milk chocolate, caramel flavor, but does push it into a very distinct category. Oreo cookie dough? I find myself yearning for double stuf, also, a vitamin or six.
The coffee flavors are where things get strange. It’s akin to putting coffee in a chocolate cake, but the ratios are off, and it tastes more like a coffee buttercream frosting than a true cookie dough flavor. Tasty? Yes. Indiscernible? Unfortunately, the world will have to stick to mommy blogs to get that real, cookie dough and Oreo flavor.