January 2015 – Foodette Reviews

Coca-Cola Brisket Sliders

This shop has been compensated by Collective Bias, Inc. and its advertiser. All opinions are mine alone. #PrepareToParty #CollectiveBiasFootball food time! Yeah, buddy! Time to make a couch out of potatoes and attempt to follow games. I’m kidding, I’m now a rabid Arkansas fan now, so I’ll hang onto my relevance despite knowing it isn’t college ball season any more. Teams won games, balls were thrown, some balls were deflated, jokes were made. This is a particularly intellectually compelling season so I might follow along. In any case, I’ll make food, and because we had a blizzard this week, I’m lucky to be noshing on the last of my Atlanta brisket, made with Coca Cola. Pardon my Bubbi’s recipes, but this might be the best brisket I’ve made, and it’s so easy. Come, take a journey with me.When #CollectiveBias challenged me to come up with a recipe, I knew it had to involve meat as I am a full-time carnivore intern now. The recipe is easy and takes a mere overnight to make, so you can dream of brisket as it cooks. I purchased a six-pack of half liter bottles of Coke from Walmart for this, four for the recipe and two to hide away as a post-workout treat. To offset the sweet flavor and complement some of its spicier notes, I made a rub out of reduced Coke, boiled down into a thick syrup, then let it layer onto the meat as a paste before spreading on a mixture of chipotle pepper, garlic, onion, and cumin. Six oranges and the Coke went into my crockpot, then the meat, and I sent it off to bed, dreams of cheerleaders and beef dancing through my head. From there, it was a matter of slicing and devouring. The beef was tender and easy to cut through after exactly 9 hours on low (your crockpot may vary) and I piled it high atop sweet rolls with hot sauce, melted cheese, and a few spicy bread and butter pickles. Portable and piquant, they were great for relaxing! The ultimate champion of comfort food.So, what goes into your game day treats? Make this and I guarantee you’ll have neighbors and friends calling from miles away.

JFK to GDL Sandwich

I know, I know, I’m pretty damned lucky. But really, there’s no reason to be jealous. While the rest of you sit in your temperate, average weather zones, I’ll be in an exotic polar vortex, or Storm Juno as the Weather Channel insists on trending. Don’t malign me for my fortune, for my charmed interactions with the kind people of West Hartford as I traverse Whole Foods, wincing as every clementine and free-range maple syrup candy is decimated from the shelves. Continue reading “JFK to GDL Sandwich”

Cellucor Red Velvet Whey Protein

To clarify from yesterday’s rhetoric: I am on a diet. It does not include cookies. After a grueling gym set to offset my crapital gains, I switched one red velvet for another and tried the well-timed package from Cellucor, featuring samples from their whey protein line and Royal Sport brand, available exclusively from GNC. Cellucor, as far as I can tell, is the only decent supplement company on the market making a red velvet whey protein isolate, which is awesome. I’ve lauded Cellucor before- clean protein, gluten and sugar free in most cases, and excellent blendability. This new flavor is no less awesome and accurately mimics red velvet cake, cream cheese and all. They sent over a four-serving sample bag and after my first glass, I ordered a 2lb. jug out of sheer addiction. This might be better than COR-Fetti, I’m telling you that.I mix my supplements with milk rather than water- I think the nutrients are important and am willing to have the extra calories and fat over having an unappetizing shake. Without a doubt, this is the best milk-based shake I’ve made. I’m afraid to try it with my go-to, vanilla almond milk, just because of how great it is with whole milk. The creaminess in the whey really enhances the cake batter flavors, and gives a sweet, frosting edge to it. I even went as far as to blend half whole milk and half fat-free kefir with this to achieve the cream cheese frosting flavor. Go hard, Foodette, go hard. Continue reading “Cellucor Red Velvet Whey Protein”

Chaos and Pain Cannibal Permaswole

What’s for breakfast? PERMASWOOOOLLLLEEEE.

What’s for lunch? PEEEEEEEEEEEERMASWOOOLLLLEEE.

What’s for dinner? Please, please don’t hit me. It’s Permaswole, okay? It’s a supplement from Chaos & Pain that tastes like Pixy Stix and makes you feel like the Hulk. Guaranteed to annoy girlfriends and distress mothers everywhere when you proclaim that you are the masc with the vasc. C&P sent over Green Apple Hulk, so before we get to the meat of the review, let’s go over the ingredients. To give you perspective, I do a light PHAT/HIIT style workout with a trainer with an intensive, hour-long focus on core and strength exercises. Surprisingly, there aren’t many reviews of this and what reviews are out there basically equate this to crack cocaine for your muscles. It’s awesome, but crack cocaine is going too far. That’s a better descriptor for Ferox, which we’ll get to in a week or so. Quite simply, though, Permaswole is diligent as both a battle cry and an amino acid boost for the family guns. Continue reading “Chaos and Pain Cannibal Permaswole”

Cellucor COR-Fetti Cake Batter Whey Protein

Get that virtual baby shower ready, because this girl is preggo. Pregnant with abs.

I felt them a few weeks ago, emerging from the deep as I was admiring myself shirtless in the mirror to Sade, as you all shamelessly do in the privacy of your own homes, I’m sure. They kicked a little, or maybe they involuntarily flexed at the climax point of ‘Damn, I Wish I Was Your Lover’ when I switched to the veritable Ms. Hawkins. I’m going to name them Kevin! Continue reading “Cellucor COR-Fetti Cake Batter Whey Protein”