Thank you for coming across my online guide on how to perform a successful incision and extraction of cookie dough creme from a baked, yeast-based heart donut. In this step by step guide, I will detail the vivisection, extraction, and recovery period.To start, you will need a Dunkin’ Donuts Cookie Dough Donut, in the requisite heart formation. Continue reading “Dunkin’ Donuts Cookie Dough Donut”
A week ago, we went to a specialty dinner hosted by the Madison Beach Hotel, close to where I grew up. I spent a lot of time in Madison as a child, as we had many family friends who lived there, and went to a synagogue close to the center of town. It’s home to my favorite cinema and bookstore, as well as some excellent restaurants. I’d even been to the old hotel on the wharf for a few parties, but hadn’t yet had the chance to see the new property.
The hotel hosts multiple dinners a month, often centered around a specific theme or hosted by a brand. We were here for an Asian wine dinner, featuring the wines of Chateau St. Michelle. We started the evening off with a glass of 2012 Eroica and a few appetizers in the lounge. Our favorite noshes were the spicy salmon handroll, packed with more smoked lox than rice, and the baby banh mi sandwiches. Continue reading “Asian Wine Dinner at the Madison Beach Hotel, Madison, CT”
I am a member of the Collective Bias® Social Fabric® Community. This shop has been compensated as part of a social shopper insights study for Collective Bias and its client. My parents make me pay my own bills now! Kind of. #CollectiveBias
Not too long ago, I was in New York City, and needed some snacks for my train ride home. I picked up a few odds and ends at Duane Reade, but didn’t finish them on the ride. I thought they’d make a fun dessert trail mix for your next event, or just to snack on. It has a little sweet, a little heat, and plenty of fruit and chocolate. I used pieces of a chocolate bar with nuts, but you could also make it nut-free if anyone in your family or friend group has a nut allergy. Continue reading “#shop Dessert Trail Mix”
Golden Oreos, you have come home at last. You were bland and played second fiddle to Vienna Fingers when you first came out on the market, and came into the eye of the public with your controversial, yet ultimately progressive Heads or Tails pairing. Unfortunately, you faltered with Birthday Cake Oreos, because nobody wants a vanilla-on-vanilla birthday cake. It wasn’t your fault. The descent had begun. Watermelon Oreo, Gingerbread Oreo, Banana Split Oreo, Neapolitan Oreo. Jesus, what were you, Madonna? Continue reading “Limited Edition Marshmallow Crispy Oreos”
FedEx, I don’t know what to say. You’ve disappointed me more than an orphaned elf on Christmas. Your friendly goon, bless his unknowing heart, dropped the package off at my front step. Today. It was marked ‘priority overnight.’ FedEx, I have been an overnight priority in the past, so needless to say, the fact that you have delayed my sugary booty call until Monday, at 9:10 in the morning, is nothing short of a deplorable, unAmerican act. Continue reading “Limited Edition Cookie Dough Oreo”
Student Life at the Dawn of the Millennium, people. Sometimes I swear that it gets harder and harder each day. It leads to vice, the small, justifiable kind like eating cookies long before most people are awake, or long after they’re at work. Alone. In sweatpants. The sole unwashed pair in a sea of clean laundry. Citing briefs in my briefs. It’s a beautiful life. I’d like to pat myself on the back for both tracking down these cookies and successfully calling over 30 Walmarts in Connecticut without an ounce of self-loathing. It turns out that merely asking (okay, begging) the public relations team will yield cookies, albeit 24 hours after considering driving to Topeka, Nowhere to see if their Dollar General has them. Continue reading “Ritz Cheese Sandwiches Camembert and Black Pepper, Cheddar and Almond”
After flubbing an important interview, woozily breaking a juice fast in preparation for those interviews, and ditching the gym in the name of Holy Netflix, all to Clay Aiken’s breakaway album, “Measure of a Man,” coming home to soda-flavored corn chips was an oddly perfect consolation prize for my future career of sofa-wrangling beast. And of course, the internet has already found them, ordered them, had them shipped express, and devoured them for the world to see. Better late than never, amirite? Continue reading “Mountain Dew Cheetos”
I am a member of the Collective Bias® Social Fabric® Community. This shop has been compensated as part of a social shopper amplification for Collective Bias and its advertiser. All opinions are honest and are my own. Come on- you know these hot pants aren’t going to finance themselves. We’re not exactly sports people. Don’t get me wrong, we’re active, but with all the other activities we have going on, sports get pushed by the wayside, along with video games and hot dog eating contests. It’s not killing us. Where’s my weakness? Football food. The real travesty here is that football watching, one of nature’s most exerting activities, almost as physically stressful as the game itself, is party to a delicious combination of flavors– the lauded buffalo, the ever-reliable trope of things deep-fried in sandwich form, various iterations of cream cheese and graham crackers, and an inexplicable need to slather beer on everything and pretend it still tastes decent. Continue reading “#shop Sage Caprese Pizza Crostini”
As luck would have it, in the middle of my miniature kitchen renovation, my landlord decided to start doing work on the rest of our apartments. Add the stress of moot court and the ensuing deep-set depression of first semester grades, and you’ve got a recipe for no recipes. Specifically, a lack of desire to cook so deep that it makes Lean Cuisine meals look like a suicide hotline. Thankfully, Blue Apron, a food delivery and cooking service, stepped in to soothe the soul-crushing workload of ten hours and a brief before my first round of job interviews.
Happy New Year.
Why are there so many new people at the gym?They think that I don’t know that they’re new. They think they’ll blend in to the circuit of toothy, muscular guys, wafer-thin co-eds, children who don’t know how elliptical machines work, and me. They think they’ll leave the weights at the lowest setting, or gab at the new, stupid-looking CrossFit station by the water fountain, or loiter near the hot tubs as if their decision to go in hinges upon a great, existential issue intent on irritating me, and change all the channels from the vastly superior Food Network to something horrible, like A&E.