SNACKDOWN: Newman’s Own Organics Fat-Free Fig Newmans vs. Newman’s Own Organics Low-Fat Fig Newmans

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Sometimes, it would do a Foodette well to listen to the advice of her readers. In this case, a new reader, Rosa, begged and pleaded with me for my life’s sake in the upcoming event of a Snackdown, this one, between Newman’s Own Organics Fat-Free Fig Newmans and the Low-Fat Fig Newmans.

I opened the fat-free FN’s. They smelled okay. I sniffed them again. And then I tried to take one out, and all the crust fell off it.

I bit into this, and it glued to the roof of my mouth. When I finally did unearth it, the crust was flavorless, and the middle was like a gelatinous, gluey Jell-o type texture, with an aftertaste that lingered in my mouth for about ten minutes of fermented raisins.

I did not like this. If you need a fat-free cookie, there’s no need to torture yourself. Newman’s Own Organics is an amazing company, but these were just awful.

1/10- HORRIBLE

The Low-Fat Fig Newman fared much better. It was like a gourmet Fig Newton, a little thicker, and none of that gelatinous texture of the fat-free. The cookies did not stick together, and the crust was buttery. There was no aftertaste.

The texture of these was much better. I could tell the difference between these two in an instant. I personally loved the low-fat ones, and recommend them for people with kids or people who love Fig Newtons. They’re better. Not my favorite, as I am a chocolate aficionado, but I like the less pedestrian idea of incorporating figs into cookies. It’s good.

Another really sweet aspect of the entire Newman’s Own Organic line is the little stories they put on the back of the packages. I really enjoy reading this, and hope they continue to incorporate these into their future packages and products.

You can find these at many stores around the country. One important thing to know, though, is that Newman’s Own Organics is a different subsidary than Newman’s Own!
7/10- VERY GOOD

WINNER: LOW-FAT FIG NEWMANS

Newman’s Own Organics Peanut Butter Newman-O’s

Another winner. Seriously. I want to let you know, Newman’s Own Organics doesn’t get all tens and nines and eights because they sent me all this free stuff, they get high marks because their stuff is just freaking awesome. If this is what eating organically consists of, send over the freakin’ carrots.

This is not your mother’s peanut butter cookie.

No, when they say “peanut butter” they mean peanut butter. It’s not peanut butter cream, or peanut butter glaze, or peanut butter frosting. It’s peanut butter. Plain, simple, delicious. Like the inside of a Reese’s, except more peanutty. It’s fucking infused with peanut butter.

But the nice thing is that it doesn’t overpower. The crunch from the cookie blends incredibly with the peanut butter, much like the Hint O’ Mint Newman-O. It’s not the sweetest cookie, but it’s flavorful. In fact, it’s much better than a sweet cookie because the sweetness is subtle. It stays in your mouth afterward with those nutty notes, instead of burning your throat.

This cookie is amazing. I love it. I want to buy this and fill my house, so that in the event of a nuclear apocalypse, I can live happy, underground, and stuffed with these.

10/10- INCREDIBLE

Newman’s Own Organic Cinnamon Hermits


Here’s another product from the lovely people at Newman’s Own Organics. They gave me two kinds to try, original and cinnamon.

The cookie is a little deceptive in its packaging. The package looks big, but inside, there are only twelve cookies. Luckily, the cookies are extremely filling. I took three, expecting to eat them all and still be hungry, but stopped after two, they were that thick.

The cookie itself was delicious, but had me a little worried about the plain ones, because with the medley of raisins and doughy texture and cinnamon, it didn’t seem like it would be right if the cinnamon wasn’t there at all. I’ll have to see when I taste the plain ones.

The texture was thick, almost like a really good brownie, and the pieces of sugar were sweet and added to the richness of the cookie. They provided a lovely crunch and almost none of them fell off the cookie before eating them.

This is just a really excellent cookie. Personally, I cannot stand raisins, but these blended so well. They’re like an oatmeal raisin bar for the sophisticated set, the people who need more than a run-of-the-mill cookie. This is stuff for gourmands. Very tasty.
8/10- DELICIOUS

Newman’s Own Organics Hint O’ Mint Newman-O’s


I tried these, and they’re definitely as good as, if not better, than Oreos.

I am not a mint person, really, not when peanut butter or more chocolate can be had, but I did try the “Mint and Creme” Oreos, and these are such a breath of fresh air from that gelatinous mess.

The cookie is a delicious chocolate, with the perfect balance of minty cream filling. Nothing green in here, just pure mint extract. The cookies were crunchy and had the perfect amount of filling. And these were some thick cookies! Almost the thickness of a Double Stuf Oreo.

I liked these. I’m not sure if I’d buy them again, but they were very tasty and balanced well.

7/10- VERY GOOD

Newman’s Own Organics Orange Chocolate Chip Champion Chip Cookie


Have you ever tasted a Terry’s Chocolate Orange? These cookies are exactly like those.

Newman’s Own Organics makes the best cookies, I’m convinced, and are one of the most friendly and generous companies I’ve ever encountered. I got over twenty five of their products today in the mail, and my father and I sat and crunched away at one of many product samples, the Orange Chocolate Chip Champion Chip Cookies.

When you first open the bag, there’s a lovely, homey orange and cookie scent, like these were freshly baked. This is a plus. The cookies are the size of a large half dollar and are studded with chocolate chips. Although the bag portrays many more chips than the actual average cookie, I was able to look this over, as these cookies are FREAKING AMAZING.

The crunch is buttery, smooth, and crunchy, dissolving into a wonderful taste. Natural ingredients really do make the difference, folks. It’s no surprise here. The orange tastes like real zest was used in these, and the chocolate blends perfectly.

A winner. If the rest of the products from Newman’s Own Organics are anything like this, I will be the size of a boat.

10/10- EXCEPTIONAL

Deep River Snacks Sweet Maui Onion Kettle Cooked Potato Chips

Mmmmm…the first thing you notice when you open these chips is the flavoring. It’s a lovely, powdery crust of onion, almost like grilled onions on the barbecue or buttermilk onion rings.

It’s a thick, rich onion taste, and the underlying potato chip is flavorful, all crunch and potato. The powder takes the chips and keeps them from being really oily. If you like strong flavors, this is for you. The onion flavor stays in the back of your throat, quickly mingling with the potatoey taste.

These are a local brand of chips, and boy, are they good. They’re a little pricey, and not many chips fill the bag, but they’re excellent with a sandwich. The chips are actually made with real onions, not just powder, and are definitely worth their price.

8/10- DELICIOUS

Sargento 2% Milk Reduced Fat Medium Cheddar Cheese


This is a good cheese, courtesy of the people at Sargento.

It’s a nice cheddar cheese, with a sharp flavor. You don’t really notice the reduced fat part in the flavor, but it does come out in the texture.

Where I’d rather use a full-fat cheese for things like crackers and cheese, for something a little softer, this is a firm cheese that melts up well. I made a few things with it, and I found that I didn’t really like it in a cold cut sandwich- it just wasn’t soft enough, but that it was quite tasty when melted or grilled. It made one of the best grilled cheeses I’ve ever had. I found that it was actually better than a full-fat cheese when melted because of its dryness, and it didn’t leave as much grease behind.

Regardless of texture, the flavor is still bold, sharp, and very tasty. This is a winner. The pre-slicing is great, too.

8/10- VERY TASTY

A bevy of Fruit-By-The-Foots…

Holy hell! I’ve just consumed 9 feet of candy!

Of course, it was in the Fruit by the Foot version…it’s so delicious…I got it from the cupboard on a whim, in three flavors to review: Tropical, Tie-Dye Berry, and Tie-Dye.

The Tie-Dye flavor is a sweet and mellow taste, colored and flavored predominantly with orange, lemon, and lime. It’s a standard candy classic, very tasty, and it seems to be cut in a cloud or paw print shape so you can pull it apart.

The Tie-Dye Berry flavor is a much stronger taste, with cherry, and raspberry flavors, as well as a stronger color scheme of purples, reds, and blues. This was the coveted of flavors, always the one to go first in the lunchboxes. Although there’s a zipper pattern on it, presumably to pull it apart and share with friends, nobody in the 4th grade wanted to share this one. Everyone was jealous of this kid, yes, even you. Unless you were that kid, in which case, we say, you’re an asshole for not sharing. This is a good, solid candy, though, with a great taste.

I have to say, for novelty, this last one takes the prize. The Tropical flavor features a host of summer activities printed on its yellow skin, like an edible tapestry. Going down the three feet, I see treasure chests, paw prints, happy campers playing ball, apples, palm trees, steel bear traps, BEARS ATTACKING. It’s a summer hallucination extravaganza! The flavor is like a coconutty-pineapple tropical flavor. Yummy.

With all of these, it’s a nice, firmly-textured chew, a pretty long-lasting snack. These will always be a hit, for lunchboxes and cupboard everywhere.
8/10- DELICIOUS

Lifesavers Gummies

These are a pretty good gummy.

The flavors advertised were watermelon,

Watermelon actually tasted like watermelon. I wished it was like the little Jelly Belly beans where the inside was pink, but this was a refreshing-looking all green gummy. The taste was firm and watermelon-y, not artificial tasting at all.

Strawberry was the next flavor. It was a very mild strawberry flavor, almost a cherry-berry taste instead. This was an okay gummy.

I couldn’t tell the difference in color between red raspberry and cherry, but the cherry tasted exactly like the Luden’s cough drops from my childhood that I used to eat by the handful. Red raspberry wasn’t a special flavor at all, very mild. It just tasted like sugar.

The last flavor was supposed to be blackberry, and they hit the nail right on the head. It tasted like those old violet candies and left a really delicious jam-like aftertaste.

These are good gummies. Unfortunately, the packaging is so heavy that there isn’t much room for the snack. Still, a good and classic treat.

8/10- YUMMY

CVS Simply Divine Luxury Wafers with Chocolate Creme

These are your standard, “I forgot to bring a gift to this party oh shit, what should I bring, I only have the cash that’s in my change drawer,” gift.

They come in one of those little cylindrical canisters, the packaging is very pretty, if a bit over the top. Ribbons, banners, and scripty font are vomited all over the package, making it look like a cotillion’s afterbirth residue.

The wafers themselves are pretty distinguished, actually, with gaily patterned stripes and dots, looking like what giraffe bones might. The taste isn’t anything special, really.

When you bite into one of these, you’re immediately stabbed by the shards of the wafer. At least they’re tasty shards, albeit mingled with blood. The creme really is chocolate creme. It’s melty and tasty and not stale-tasting or resembling mockolate at all.

6/10- ALL RIGHT